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    Haribo20's Avatar
    Haribo20 Posts: 25, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Dec 6, 2011, 06:17 PM
    Give your point of view asap before 16th please
    Hi I've been with my partner for a short time but so strong and full of love you'd think we were together for years. But recently we found out he will be sent to prison on the 16th of this month.. He's head is so confused and mashed up he broke up with me so he could be singal on prison. Which I understand.. But I love him too much to let him go through this alone... I helped him through previous court cases held his hand when they told him he would get sentenced on the 16th... Hed then ask me to have his baby but I said after he came out so we could do it together as a family not apart. Basikly I want someone Else's opinion what to do... I can't let him go. He nows I'd be faithful to him.. But a jelous past partner of his keeps whispering in his ear to split use up.. But since the court case on the 25th nov I don't see him and still haven't till he messaged me braking up... Someone please help... Give me your view on this... I really don't want him to deserpear I love him too much to give up x I'm so confused and heart broken :(
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Dec 6, 2011, 08:38 PM
    What is a short time? One month, three months ?

    How long will he be in prison ?

    What is he going to prison for ?

    And even if you stay a girlfriend, he is still single in prison, just with a girlfriend.
    Haribo20's Avatar
    Haribo20 Posts: 25, Reputation: 3
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    #3

    Dec 6, 2011, 08:48 PM
    Ino he's still single in prison.. But at least he has someone waiting who loves him .
    He's looking at two years but most likely only do one year.
    And it's because of a car crash which nearly killed him but the medics revived him... But he made a chase with the police before crashing which resulted in the car splitting in two... We been together 4mths x
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Dec 6, 2011, 08:51 PM
    If you both love each other, he could use someone outside to write him, send him a little money and do a visit every now and then, It will help him survive better inside.
    Haribo20's Avatar
    Haribo20 Posts: 25, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Dec 6, 2011, 08:58 PM
    Yeah that's what we both agreed on.. For me to write and visit... I just don't understand why he's pushing me away now and not before...
    Haribo20's Avatar
    Haribo20 Posts: 25, Reputation: 3
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    #6

    Dec 6, 2011, 09:02 PM
    He's a good guy really.. He just did some stupid and is paying the price... And he has two kids from a previous ex... Who mashed his head before we got together cause she came out as a lesbian... Bet all this sounds head recking just reading it... Let alone being him
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Dec 6, 2011, 09:13 PM
    He made some wrong choices and has to pay for it, I will not bash him for that. My guess and that is what it is, he knows how hard this will be, and men with their ego often want to seem or sound tough like they don't need anyone. And he will go to prison, not local jail, and it can be a tough place.

    Best advice, keep to his self, stay out of trouble. Try and get a prison job doing something to help keep busy. Don't gamble too much and don't shoot his mouth off.
    Some will say and talk trash seeing if he will react ( at times)
    And finally don't trust anyone, not the staff, not the other inmates.
    Haribo20's Avatar
    Haribo20 Posts: 25, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Dec 6, 2011, 09:23 PM
    Thank you for your advice helped me a lot.. So should I just tell him I ain't going no where ? I really don't want him to feel on his own at all.. If it was you... What would you want me to say?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Dec 6, 2011, 09:48 PM
    Yes, tell him that you will be there for him, in spite of him trying to chase you away, Tell him it will take more than a while in prison to keep you away.

    Ok, we can't tell the future and you may over the months decide not to, but that is something only the future can tell, even if he was out of jail. But for now, you follow your heart and let him know it.

    At some point inside he may feel worried about you cheating, that happens when another inmate finds out his girl is pregnant perhaps and he was been inside over a year. Or a inmate gets a "dear john letter breaking up" then they start to worry more about their relationship. That is just a normal thing that happens.

    So expert him to have some ups and downs while he is inside.
    Haribo20's Avatar
    Haribo20 Posts: 25, Reputation: 3
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    #10

    Dec 6, 2011, 10:07 PM
    Thank you so much... For your advice youv helped me understand a lot better.. I've messaged him saying he can push me away but il still be waiting.. N he can still be singal just I won't... If u understand.. And I told if he comes out and still doesn't want to be together then il walk away but until then I ain't going anywhere )... So just wait for his replie now... Thank you for helping me understand... Very much appreciated :)
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #11

    Dec 7, 2011, 11:08 AM
    I'm not really sure it's a good idea to have a baby with someone who is on his way to prison, particularly a PLANNED pregnancy. How does that fit into this scenario? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ot-616973.html

    He has made mistakes in his past, and if you are attempting to get or are pregnant (depending on which post I read), I think you are adding to his problems.
    Haribo20's Avatar
    Haribo20 Posts: 25, Reputation: 3
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    #12

    Dec 7, 2011, 11:23 AM
    We ain't pregnant.. But we were trying... But when my period came we talked and I decided after he came out of prison we would talk about it then... That's when he broke it off. He already has two children which is why I told him to concentrate on them for now. He wasn't happy with my desion but I also don't want to do it alone.. But as a family together... I know what he wanted for him to come out to a new chapter... And thank you for giving your view too :)
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #13

    Dec 7, 2011, 01:04 PM
    And if you are in agreement and neither one of you is stupid or moves too quickly this could very well work out for you.

    At first I questioned what you were thinking - now I see you are being realistic. Good for you.

    I hope it works out.
    Haribo20's Avatar
    Haribo20 Posts: 25, Reputation: 3
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    #14

    Dec 7, 2011, 05:02 PM
    Thank you :)
    karissa.elise's Avatar
    karissa.elise Posts: 98, Reputation: -4
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    #15

    Dec 9, 2011, 03:41 PM
    Yeah I think waiting is a good idea ecspecially since he keeps breaking up with you. After just saying he wanted a baby. I think you should both really make sure this is what you want before you do something as serious as having a baby

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