[CDR2011]

All right, I met my ex girlfriend over 4 years ago. We started as friends and got really close, but there was a snag... each of us had significant others at the time. Finally, each of us got out of our relationships and took a plunge and decided to start dating. It was amazing and after about a year of dating I decided to ask her to marry me. She said yes and so we were going to wait until she graduated college (because I already had) to decide on getting married. A few months after the engagement things were OK, she seemed distant and finally it got to the point where I asked what was up. She said that we were moving too fast and that she wasn't ready for all that (even though she was the one that was emailing me rings).

I told her that it was fine and that we would call off the engagement. That next month she went to London for a few weeks and during that she sent me a Facebook message saying how she made a mistake and that she knew that we were going to get married, but didn't want to be engaged at the moment. She came back to the States and things were great and like they were. She left for home for the summer and that's when things got weird. When I would visit, she would be all distant and wouldn't engage in a lot of physical parts of the relationship (hugs, holding hands, etc). After a couple of visits I sat her down and asked what was up... she then stated that she was going through some things and that she didn't like to be touched and went on to say that she was putting me back into the friend zone. I was baffled, because it came out of left field.

A week after the talk she decided that we needed a break and so I agreed to that in hopes that she would work out her issues. The next week she broke things off and without a real reason. This is where I get confused... we have had a few talks and I never got a real answer except that we each changed and that we lost ourselves in the relationship. I toyed with just letting her go, but two months after we broke up my father passed away and she was brought into my life again. She came to the funeral and was there for me and such, but it didn't feel sincere. I talked to her a few weeks later and she said that she hopes that I didn't get the wrong impression about her being there and wanting to get back together. I was heartbroken again.

After the next couple of months we got together randomly... even went to a concert together. I thought things were progressing to getting her back... then this past weekend I saw her with a new guy and she flirted with him in front of me and left with him. So, I confronted her about it and told her how I felt about that and she responded that she has been overwhelmed by most constant wanting of answers. We talked for a little bit longer and I felt that we were getting somewhere because she said that she didn't know what to think about our situation and that she doesn't understand why I still want to be together. I answered those questions and she said that she has a lot of baggage some I know and some I don't (Which I am OK with I told her).

She told me that she is scared of a lot of things, but wouldn't reveal them. I left one last message telling her how I felt and that the ball was in her court. I am just really confused and don't know what to do.

[talaniman]

I think you respect her fears and respect the break up and please get that false hope out of your system. For whatever reason she put you back in the friend zone, stop trying to make it more than it is. Unless you do, you will keep having your heart broken.

Let it go.

[vanheart]

Yup.

You want her, she doesn't want you.

Sorry, man.

She's told you.

[jdeey]

I personally think you deserve better than that. I know it can be hard to let some one go even if you love them so much when they hurt you. It's never easy. Maybe if you tell her you're giving her up shel realise what she's lost. I used to do things like that to my boyfriend. I was so wrong. I used to start ignoring him just because I wanted to mess with him a bit. One day he told me he cldnt take it any more and I realised how terrible I had been. I felt so bad. I promised him id change and said sorry for it all. WE're all good now. Wev been dating for nearly 2 yrs. All I'm saying is that we don't realise what we have until wev almost lost it. Not enough people realise that. Maybe its about time you stood up for yourself.. see what happens. Good luck!