[falconflight]

Well I'm 21, and she is 20 and we have been friends for a little over a year. We met in a college class. Well we went on dates at first, then she kind of got distant, then she returned into my life, and we went out to lunch like once a week, and she would say stuff to me for example, like complimenting my cologne she'd say "Wow you smell yummy".

We went to a Halloween theme park party and I paid for everything, and all well the problem is afterward I told her how I felt about her. She said how I was an awesome person and a really sweet guy, but she still justs wants to be friends. I took it hard (little about me: I'm a virgin not really because of looks, just I moved a lot as a youth and haven't really met the right girl for me).

So her birthday was a few weeks later I texted her happy birthday and she said Thanks :) and since then we haven't talked... and that was October 23rd of this year. I feel bad because I don't want her to think I am ignoring her because I only wanted sex or something, I'm doing it because (as hard as it is to believe), I genuinely care about her as a person.

But at the same time, every time we hung out, I would come away liking her a little more, and more. Also the rejection kind of hurt since she didn't really make me aware of us just being pals.

Well that's it basically, my question is am I all right for not wanting to text her? Also if you were her, ladies would you think I am ignoring you only because I wanted sex or something. So once there was no possibility I bailed? I'm so confused and I've really been depressed over it, and I never get depressed, so if you can add anything, I'd appreciate it!

Also we used to drink out of the same drinks and stuff.

[talaniman]

I read your other post and let me give you props for being a guy with his own mind.

As to how to deal with rejection, never take it personally, its her choice not about you, and if you keep it in perspective, you still have a fun friend to enjoy while you explore other options and opportunities.

Some time to get through those disappointing feelings is understandable, and I think you are a classy enough guy to overcome and not dwell long on those feelings. So if you are still friendly when you see her, she will most likely not hold it against you, if that's the route you choose.

That's one of the problems of putting a lot of time and energy into just one person, you become attached when its fun, and hurt when it doesn't go as planned. Nobody need know of your sexual status unless you care to share, and until that time its your business, not theirs.

Actually guy, you did ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong, so don't feel bad at all. You are a good guy, with great instincts, so trust yourself more, and keep your confidence up, no matter what life throws at you. Its YOUR world, so enjoy it.

But never let rejection, which is but a temporary thing, stop you from exploring possibilities with others, just for fun, and happiness.

That's how you learn and grow, and gain life experience, virgin, or not.

Shake it up, make more female friends, and have big fun.

[falconflight]

Talianman, Thanks for your post! I just wanted to be reassured I guess that I'm doing the right thing. Out of all the females I've been around (excluding family members) I like her the most as a person. I would eventually like to be her friend again, but it puzzles me why she hasn't tried to contact me? If I rejected my friend I would not only feel bad, I'd contact them to make sure they are okay. I haven't heard anything..

[talaniman]

I think she is being a friend and giving you space until you are ready to be a friend.

[Wondergirl]

What Tal said.

This is what's call "experience" in the unofficial dating manual. You've learned something about yourself, and you've learned something about women. (You'll NEVER learn it all! We keep changing it up.) Now, move forward and get to know more girls and learn more stuff.

[falconflight]

@talaniman: Yeah I just don't know if I can based on how I like her and I really can't just throw my feelings in the closet. If I hangout with her, I'll probably just come away liking her more and more... which is unfortunate because she is a great girl. And she may be giving me space until I am ready, or she may just not really care that much and think I've not upset over it.

@Wondergirl: Thanks for posting, yeah I learned to I guess make my intentions much earlier with a girl, and to also not buy them anything unless we are dating haha.

[Wondergirl]

@ Wondergirl: to also not buy them anything unless we are dating haha.

That sounds like I won't be getting anything from you this Christmas. *sigh*

[falconflight]

HAHA! Well I guess as long as you don't let me spend $200 on you, and then reject me; I can probably get you something :)

[Wondergirl]

HAHA! Well i guess as long as you don't let me spend $200 on you, and then reject me; i can probably get ya something :)

Since I've been married for 44 years, I guess I'll have to pass. :D Hopefully, he'll cough up something for me for Christmas (if he doesn't forget... ). If he forgets, I'll contact you.

Keep your sense of humor, and you'll be fine.

[falconflight]

Wow 44 years! Congrats! You don't have to be married to respect that. I'm sure he'll get you something, just throw out some hints ;)

[Wondergirl]

I'm sure he'll get ya something, just throw out some hints ;)

He usually gets me something he wants too and can use. One Christmas after nagging him to replace the toilet seat, I gave him one to get back at him.

Last Christmas he gave me a new computer keyboard because the letters had rubbed off the old one.

Here's your poem for the day: There's all kinds of fun in store if you make it to forty-four!

[falconflight]

"There's all kinds of fun in store if you make it to forty-four!" Yeah I need a girlfriend first ;) but congrats!