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Tsims25 · Dec 4, 2011, 03:42 PM

I'm a Father that has had my daughter since she was 2 days old. I live in GA and her mother lives in SC. Recently my child's mother went to jail for what we later came to find out.. She use my waifs name and was arrested. After spending 30 days in jail because my wife prosecuted her, she now has become upset and said she wants my daughter back. We are lost.. We know she will never leave us alone if we keep her, but how can we let her go. Can I file child abandonment against her to win full custody? We never had a agreement, she called us when she had my daughter and we have had her ever since. What can I do?

JudyKayTee · Dec 4, 2011, 03:46 PM

The parents have equal rights. You have as much of a right to your child as the mother has.

If she takes you to Court it has to be where you and the child live (assuming you've lived there and she's lived there for at least 6 months). If she DOES take you to Court you argue she's unfit and a danger to the child.

No, she did not abandon the child.

I'd wait and see what the mother does. You can always force the issue by taking HER to Court for custody - but why bother? Maybe she'll go away.

Tsims25 · Dec 4, 2011, 03:53 PM

So in order for her to take me to court she has to come file here in GA? Can she come to Ga and take my daughter from us?

Fr_Chuck · Dec 4, 2011, 03:59 PM

So do you have written legal custody "right now" have you been to court since she was two years old and filed.

If you don't have custody, you need to get custody. Since the child has been right you all this time most likely you should be able to keep custody. I would hire a good attoreny.

ScottGem · Dec 4, 2011, 04:04 PM

First, how old is the child. Are there any court orders giving you primary custody? For visitation? For child support? Also so more details on the circumstances of her birth and how you wound up with her instead of the mother may help us help you.

Second, I'm trying understand what happened. The child's mother was arrested, was she arrested for using her child's name or did she use her child's name when arrested. You said your wife (current wife?) prosecuted her, for what exactly?

As for her coming to take the child. Since you have equal rights, she can't just show up at your door and demand the child. If the child goes to school or daycare, she might try to pick her up there, so you make sure they have specific instructions not to let her go with anyone you don't designate.

Tsims25 · Dec 4, 2011, 04:06 PM

I did a drugstore paternity test and found out my daughter is not mine. She lives with me and my wife in GA and her mother lives in SC. If she agrees can we have my name taken off the birth certificate?

ScottGem · Dec 4, 2011, 04:14 PM

I merged your threads since they bear on the same issue. So now you find the child is not biologically yours (I wouldn't trust a drugstore test, btw) and so now you are willing to abandon her? What does your wife say about this?

If you acknowledged paternity you will have to go to court terminate paternity. I'd have to double check GA law, but it may be too late for you to challenge paternity.

Tsims25 · Dec 4, 2011, 04:21 PM

My daughter is only 6 months old right now. We ended up with her because I cheated on my wife and when I told my daughters mother I didn't want to be with her she told me to come get the baby she wanted nothing to do with her. We never had any agreement and no paper work was ever filed as far as custody. My daughters birth mother used my wife's name when she was arrested and my wife got the officer to procute for false information instead of identity theft because we were afraid of her telling us she wanted my daughter back. We have been very nice to her but enough is enough.

Tsims25 · Dec 4, 2011, 04:28 PM

Scott I'm trying to fix the problem that I made.. My wife of course is unbelievable hurt a idea of losing her especially since we do not have any children of our own. We did the paternity test and she is not mine but we still want to keep her. But if the birth mother continues to cause issues than what do I do... I'm in a loose loose situation. We have fallen in love with the child but its causing me my marriage.

ScottGem · Dec 4, 2011, 04:29 PM

So what do you and your wife want to do? Do you want to give the child back to the mother and remove yourself or do you want to treat her as your daughter (if you are listed on the birth certificate you are the legal father)?

Tsims25 · Dec 4, 2011, 04:39 PM

Of course we would love to keep her but.. her mother will never let us be happy because she is mad at me and taking it out on my wife and daughter. I know that since I'm on the birth certifate I have some rights, which takes me back to the original question. Is there a way for me to get full custody so that she will have no rights. The birth mother has agreed to take my name of the birth certifate if we give her back. I'm just trying to see what options I have. But at the end of the day my house is divided and my heart is broken.

ScottGem · Dec 4, 2011, 05:09 PM

I don't think you stand a chance of getting her rights terminated. But I think you stand a good chance of getting primary physical and legal custody with limited visitation.

However, I think you made it harder by letting the mother know that a paternity test may show you are not the father. If it comes to court, she will bring that up.

I think you should consult a local attorney.

cdad · Dec 4, 2011, 05:21 PM

Also realize that you may be wrong. When you did the test it could have been wrong and you are the actual father. That is why the courts won't allow a home test. Its just not reliable enough. You need a professional service.

Tsims25 · Dec 4, 2011, 05:39 PM

We never told the birth mother about the paternity test. So my last question is. If we decided to fight in what state do I need to file for custody in. My daughter was born in SC

ScottGem · Dec 4, 2011, 05:44 PM

You said the mother agreed to take you off the because so I assumed you had said something.

How long have you lived in GA, how long has your daughter lived there?

Tsims25 · Dec 4, 2011, 05:50 PM

i've lived here for 1 year and my daughter has been here since she was 3 days old.

JudyKayTee · Dec 4, 2011, 06:33 PM

Please don't type in caps - on the Internet it's the same as shouting.

Did you read what I said originally? "If she takes you to Court it has to be where you and the child live (assuming you've lived there and she's lived there for at least 6 months). If she DOES take you to Court you argue she's unfit and a danger to the child."

Your paternity test is meaningless. It has to be Court ordered.

I'm not sure what you want to do. There is no way you are going to totally cut the child's mother out of the child's life UNLESS she agrees to allow you and your wife to adopt the child.

ScottGem · Dec 4, 2011, 06:55 PM

You said your daughter was 6 months old. Some people approximate and it wasn't clear how long she has lived in GA. I wanted to clarify.

But it would appear that GA has jurisdiction. So you can file in GA and she would also have to file in GA if she wants anything done.

Tsims25 · Dec 4, 2011, 07:57 PM

Thank you I have a better understanding now, appreiate all the advice...