[uninvited1974]

Hello everyone I am in a stressful relationship and I really don't know what to do. I have been with my live in boyfriend for 5 years now and I have three kids from previous relationship and he has one from his previous relationship.

The problem is we recently got his son taken from the mother because of her neglect and emotionally destroying my step son's mind. Anyway my boyfriend and I have been dealing with fights and arguments for the past 2 weeks and I don't know how to deal with it. He is constantly thinking about his baby-mother and talking about her and its bothering me because he won't stop unless I argue to him about it. Well he promised me he won't text her and what happened a couple of days later he texted her to curse her out and so forth but I found out through her when she showed me the text. I brought it to his attention and he got all bent out of shape and I feel so betrayed by him. I tell him how I feel he ignores me and brushes it away like nothing I tell him I am getting tired of the B.S between him and his baby-mother and that I am going to leave if he ignores it.

He is still thinking about the past they both shared and how dirty she played him with another man. Now we been together for 5 years, I feel he should've let that go a long time ago but nope, still haunts me to this day. We have not spoken since yesterday and today he has gotten sick and was in the hospital which he does to get my attention.

What should I do, I take his son to school in the morning, I pick him up from school, I feed him dinner, make sure he showers but his father does not appreciate that cause he is too caught up with his past, I have told him this about how I feel and nothing. I have not yet spoken to him but I know deep down, I am tired and upset. I have lots of anger inside of me that I need to let out. What should I do?

[JudyKayTee]

I don't quite understand how "we" took custody from the mother. You have no legal standing in this matter, unless I'm reading this wrong. But that aside -

He lies to you. That would be a big red flag to me. It doesn't matter why he's contacting his "ex." He said he wouldn't/isn't and he is.

You opened an old thread and your answer might be pulled so I am going to re-post it here. Perhaps reading your own words will give you an idea how to best handle your situation: "Hello: Too be honest I feel you should let him know how you feel at first before anything. Communications is MUST, if once you let it be known and you feel you let it be known too much and you still get no reaction from him then the second best thing is to leave the relationship I can understand you have a child together but at times you don't need that negativity around you child. Yes some men can be hard-headed and stubborn but in every relationship for every action there is a reaction. Giving him the idea of you leaving will give him that wake up call that you know what she is not playing no more.

Maybe some time apart to find yourself will do you good and will help you out with finding yourself as a young mother and a loving person again. I had the same experience and I decided to leave to better my mind and to have a better peace of mind for my kids, Now I am happy to say I enjoy my kids more and there father is struggling with there new life. Karma is a Bit*h... " https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...-164285-2.html

I'm not sure about the karma remark - it doesn't sound like you are too happy right now, either.

It would appear that your children are living in your current situation full of stress and conflict (including a man who somehow manages to get hospitalized at his own whim) which is NOT in their best interest.

Perhaps for you and them and your boyfriend's child it is best to get out.

[uninvited1974]

You misread the whole situation wrong. The damage is not being done to me nor my children what I am trying to do is find ways to help my live in boyfriend with his problems. I never was in a situation like that before dealing with someone else's child. I tired the communication part we solved that issue already has far as for the child he is emotionally disturbed and I am trying to find out ways to deal with that situation. Has for custody issues we have the child living with us at home and he is doing fine so far, My concern would be how to help my live in boyfriend deal with the stress of dealing with his son and the anger he has towards his ex with all that she has done to her son

[JudyKayTee]

Has he tried counselling?

Again - if he lies to you about contacting the mother of his child he IS lying to you (for whatever reason). I have difficulty believing that this atmosphere is not harmful to your children's emotional health - but you live there and I do not.

Again - counselling is the only thing I can think of.