[JudyKayTee]

No contact goes on as long as it takes. I think a broken heart heals like any other broken BODY part - you need time to heal. Maybe it will take a year or two or three. Maybe you'll NEVER get over her. That doesn't mean that your life can't and won't go on.

In your heart, what do you want to happen?

I think I would have no contact. Decide every morning not to contact her (or let her contact you) for that one day. Go to bed, get up the next morning, say, "Okay, no contact just for today." Pretty soon the days run together.

I think she is/was using you - or trying to. In many cases the only way to save yourself is to stay OUT of the claws of the controlling person.

You are well spoken, you seem kind, you have a handle on things. If she's a user - and it sounds like she is, even though I don't know her - she will zoom in on your good nature and attempt to run things.

What do you think it will take for you to heal your heart? Sometimes the answer is there. You just have to look inward to find it.

[vanheart]

You have to muster up the courage & realization that she is not the one for you.

I think you have put up with enough. It didn't work before, it didn't work now & its not going to work tomorrow.

Get out of denial. You may want her, but she doesn't.

The longer you stay with this, the longer you will be miserable and confused.

[amicon]

As you asked for my input here it is;you have been given a lot of good advice -I agree with what previous posters have said.

I can only add that when it's over,it's most often over for good and for good reasons-it wasn't meant to be.

The sooner you realise that you have got to start living your own life-making the most of who you are and what you have got,the quicker you will heal.

No contact is often forever,it works as it helps get rid of the confusion and the false hope.

If/when an ex tries to get in touch,my take is they do so either because they want some sort of control over you,or they feel bad.

That's their problem-not yours.

Go live your life my friend,heal and make the most of it.

Take care.

[pahlp]

This relationship has issues, do you believe that you can work on overcoming them? Better yet do you think she wants to put the effort forward as well? I would go NC and do what I could to improve my life. I firmly believe that if you get to a place where you are happy in your life without her then if she decides to give it a go you can look at with a different perspective and may just decline.

[I wish]

The reason the others suggested NC is so that you can completely get over her. It's pointless to go into NC only to go crawling back to her eventually. Then you mine as well never stop trying.

I understand that you really love her and that you're willing to wait for her to come back to you. But there's no guarantee that she will come back to you.

Try thinking about it this way. She already knows how you feel about her, so the ball is really on her side of the court. You don't have anything else you need to prove to her. If she loved you back, she will come find you and be with you.

The fact that she wants to put some distance from you is because she doesn't feel the same way. And you can't force her to feel the same way about you, it will happen naturally (without your influence).

NC is to help you move on with your life so that you don't keep holding onto something that may never happen.

[uninvited1974]

Wow... sweety there is no hope in this relationship to be honest is not a relationship it is a game of cat and mouse and tag at the same time. She is playing both of you emotionally and mentally and you are letting her do this to you. As much as you want this to work it will never be healthy for you or for herself. The best thing to do is move on with yourself remove all contacts with her and heal yourself. Sometimes it hurts more to forget a person then to be with that person, and the way I see it that is the problem you are only hurting yourself. Move on and be happy and you will see there is light on the other side of the tunnel. Share that love you have with someone else who will appreciate you and love you unconditionally as well.

Don't give up hope you will find someone as wonderful as yourself. Appreciate yourself and the decisions you make to bring you happiness. Good Luck

[rsacid]

She enjoys your company, but does not respect you. As long as you are available she will continue to run back to you for comfort, but that is all she wants. Make yourself unavailable to her, and get on with your life. There are plenty of women who are willing to have a happy mutually fulfilling relationship with you.

[geminichick]

Tmann;

I'm wondering if your waiting for someone to post and tell you there is hope for you and your ex. I understand this is a difficult thing for you to go through but you have to make a decision (for your own well-being) not to contacxt her and move on with your life. Wipe the slate clean so to speak. Have a fresh start. After all, happy endings can happen. It's up to you to make that possible!!