[youvsme]

Me and my girl split for about 6 months and it was fine with both of us. We both seen other people and we still lived together and it really did not bother me that whole time. Then I realized I loved her so much and asked her if she wanted to get back together and work on us and she said yes.

The 3 years we were together she was a great GF always there for me never had me wondering. I was comfortable and never once did she make me think she was lying or cheating cause she wasn't. I was a complete douche the whole time though I cheated on her, was mean and hurtful, spent time with my friends more than her, never put her first she would cry every night and I would just be an *** about it. I made her miserable and I now feel so bad it hurts. I wish I could take it all back.

So now that we are together again and I love her more than ever and I'm nice and always spending my time with her. She has changed so much it feels as if the tables have turned. She is distant non compassionate. She won't add me to her face book, and says she won't tell the guys she was talking to that we are back together cause she don't want to hurt there feelings. They keep texting her. She says she doesn't text back, but she hides stuff from me. I tell her I'm scared about us, because of these guys. That my feelings hurt because she won't tell these guys we are back together.

And I get these feelings she hides talking to them from me, and when I ask her nicely, and calmly she gets angry, and defensive, and says if I keep it up I'm going to push her away. But the whole time we were together I did not feel this way ever. I trusted her completely.

And now my insecurities are getting the best of me, and I am miserable I don't know what to do. I can't keep asking her. She promises she is not talking to them, and she has never been a liar. She is a classy honest woman, but I don't know.

Did I ruin her? Did I make her this way, mean, and hiding stuff. She says she is my girl, and she does not lie, and I need to stop with this, or I'm going to push her away. My intuition usually is never wrong. It makes me feel like past relationships were there was things going on.

What do I do?

[talaniman]

What a shame you have not gotten over your own past bad behavior, and are o guilty you cannot take full advantage of your second chance. That's a darn shame because its YOU, not her that cannot control yourself or YOUR issues. That's what it sounds like to me. I think she is setting you up to torture you myself, maybe not to deceive, but teach you a lesson. That actions have consequences, and boy are you going to suffer.

You have TWO choices, control yourself, and your fear and let go of the idea of controlling her because YOU are SCARED, or keep acting like and insecure paranoid kid, and get dumped.

Really simple, you are afraid she will do to YOU, what YOU did to her. Show the love, NOT the insecurity. Show the trust, and confidence, NOT the fear.

At least act like you are grateful for a second chance, and don't expect her to just open her heart again to one that has stomped on it once before. That would be plain stupid wouldn't it? She will protect herself until YOU have earned her trust, show you deserve her love, and know what to do with it.

You haven't done that yet, at least not to her satisfaction, obviously.

[Cheeze_Babe56]

She has to understand that you need guy time. I let my boyfriend hang with the guys and be goof balls, sometimes I join them. I love everything about my man. If she truly liked being with you than she would show you off.

I have had five other boyfriends and didn't like letting my parents know about them. With this guy, I show him off. He comes over whenever he can and hangs out with me and my family, just like I go along with him. I don't try to hid him from the other people knowing.

[vanheart]

" I was a complete douche the whole time though i cheated on her,"

Doesn't sound to me that you know what you want. She's seen your colors.

Cut your tail off & move on.

You want her now, but not before.
That's hard to convince.

"was mean and hurtful"

Oh, well. Lesson learned.

What, now you are nice?