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    rev0luti0n's Avatar
    rev0luti0n Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Nov 26, 2011, 12:58 PM
    I just want your honest opinion.
    So I recently turned 14 in October and met this guy who recently turned 17.
    I understand that this is a large age difference for teenagers, but I decided to go along with it to see what would happen.

    I was 13 and he was 16 when we met.
    He moved away a couple states over and we haven't seen each other in person since.
    Right now, we're exclusive even though it's long distance.

    In my opinion I'm more mature than a lot of girls my age because of the experiences I've gone through. (not naming them)
    We've both decided to remain abstinate on the occasions that we do meet.

    However, neither or our parents know about this.

    In New Jersey, my state, it is perfectly legal so that next year (18 and 15) we will still be able to date.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
    		  
    #2

    Nov 26, 2011, 01:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by rev0luti0n View Post
    however, neither or our parents know about this.
    Why?

    There are no laws, in NJ or anywhere in the US, that prohibit dating between members of different age groups. All the laws refer to sexual activity.

    Also the age of consent in NJ is 16.

    But the big question is why haven't you told your parents? You should not be doing things behind their backs.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
    		  
    #3

    Nov 26, 2011, 01:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by rev0luti0n View Post
    In my opinion I'm more mature than a lot of girls my age

    [a portion of text edited out]

    however, neither or our parents know about this.
    There seems to be a disconnect here regarding maturity. How does not telling your parents indicate you are mature?
    Kokuathu's Avatar
    Kokuathu Posts: 9, Reputation: 4
    New Member
    		  
    #4

    Nov 26, 2011, 01:36 PM
    I dated a younger girl when I was a bit older... It honestly wasn't a smart idea now that I think about it. I took advantage of her. She thought it was love. If you are 14, you should probably reconsider dating a boy who is 17. Chances are, he's going to want more then you are emotionally ready to dig into at your age.
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
    Senior Member
    		  
    #5

    Nov 27, 2011, 03:48 AM
    I agree, it might not be a huge gap, but your minds will be completely different. You'll both naturally want different things from the relationship.

    X Dani
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
    		  
    #6

    Nov 27, 2011, 09:30 AM
    Agree, since you can't or won't tell your parents it is a sign that you are not really mature.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
    		  
    #7

    Nov 27, 2011, 10:19 AM
    My concern is your statement that sex between a 14 year old and a 17 year old in NY (as well as NJ) is "all right" and legal. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ml#post2958266

    You say "it" will be perfectly legal. What is "it"?
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