[catsass50]

My daughter has been brought up a Christian. Since she was about 11 we have had spats with each other about everything from eating in her room to whatever. She has 'tested' me constantly, we have NOT spent enough time with her and her dad has not been FIRM in punishing her. She has him twisted around her finger. She told me last month a boy who came to visit her from Australia last Christmas, who seemed like a nice young man and she was interested in, he basically raped her... just found this out. She is an introvert and just told me this recently. She doesn't want to drive "hates it". She FINALLY started working at a Pizza Hut 10 miles away, a job her brother lined up for her. WE drive her to work... We pay for her cell phone... She got herself into another 'friend' relationship and that guy 'took' her too. Ewwww, I am going crazy with this! She now has a 'nice'? Boyfriend who she says she loves and she is going to a hotel with him quite often and she did ask me to help her get on the pill. Has my sweet baby turned into a hooker?:(... She doesn't do anything around here except occasionally mess up the kitchen and cooking us a 'dish'... I do ALL her laundry, her room is always a mess! Today she made her grandmother, who is a saint, cry! I am FED UP! I want to kick her out... I love her dearly but feel like I have given all that I can give... in time,$$$ and prayer... I feel like hurting her grandmother like that while she is undergoing cancer treatments is SOOOO LOOOOWWWW, grrrrrr... My husband thinks we can only influence her to the good if she is here with us but I am soooooo DONE with giving her chances anymore... Any input would be appreciated

[kcomissiong]

I am sorry for the pain that you are experiencing. I think you need to cut the apron strings though. You are enabling her behavior, and allowing her to act like a petulant child. Cut her off. Stop paying her cell phone. She needs to pay for gas if she wants a ride to work. She has a job and she needs to pay rent. She doesn't have to act like a responsible adult because you are catering to all of her needs. Time to grow up.

[joypulv]

Raising a child in a religion doesn't mean he or she will be responsible and aware of how to face the world. It takes so much wisdom and love yet resolve and discipline that it basically boils down to luck a lot of the time. The message of Christ all by itself can be misconstrued when it comes to trust of men by a teenage girl, for example.
Meeting at a hotel usually means a married man, not a hooker. But anything's possible. I wouldn't let her live under my roof doing that. And I too would start by cutting off every thing you pay for, and start charging her for rent and food and transport. It's going to take most of her paycheck.
TALK with her. You alone. Let her do the talking at first. Ask her what she is thinking and feeling about her life, her future. Tell her how you and your father met and what you each were doing back then. Many children are bewildered by changes in society and relationships and think it will all just happen the way their parents 'happened.' Hold her hand, tell her you love her, but don't coddle her when you tell her it's time to start being an adult.

[jenniepepsi]

The more you treat her as a child, the more she will ACT like a child.

She is a guest in your home. If she refuses to follow the guidelines of the home, she will leave. No ifs ands or buts about it. End of story. That's all she wrote. Don't even give her time to respond to it.

You raised her. You did your job. Give her your love. Pray for her and send her out the door.

She will make mistakes. She may hate you. But in the end it will be MUCH better for her than what is currently going on.