[sonicpana]

Hi,

I am 21 years old and I don't know what to do anymore. About a year ago I got back in touch with a girl. We went to the same high school and back then I already had a crush on her. We met shortly afterwards and had a good time. We met a couple of times after that we had lot of fun and talked about everything. Until one point when she didn't want to meet or talk to me again.

A couple of months later it was her birthday so I texted her happy birthday but she didn't reply. But than 2 weeks later I get a message with "how r you?" from her. I responded that everything went well and asked her how she was but she didn't reply.

Couple of weeks later I texted her if she wanted to have a drink together and she said yes. So I went to her that week and again we had a good time. When I left she gave me a big hug and said that next time that we met we had to take more time for each other. Later that day I texted her that I had a lot of fun and she replied the same.

I didn't want to be to pushy and scare her of again so I didn't text her again for about two weeks. I asked her how she was and she replied that she was sick but her boyfriend was taking good care of her. I didn't know she had a boyfriend so I asked how long the two of them where together and she replied "about a week". Not fully understanding the situation I asked her why she acted the way she did two weeks before and I also explained my feeling for her and the she replied that she also had feeling for me but that she put herself over it so she wouldn't lose our friendship.

Since that day she hasn't been online or text me. It has been over 2 months since that last conversation and I just can't get her out of my head. I want to stay friends but I feel like if I keep seeing her that I won't be able to get over her at all.

Hope someone out there can help me figure out the good thing to do...

(sorry if my English is not so good its not my native language)

[talaniman]

I think you just need a bit more time, and a lot of other things to do. Hey we all have had the one we fell for but they got away, and the thing to do, like any break up, is to get with friends and family and have a ball. (fun time), and stay busy and involved with hobbies, and activities, until you get to a point she is no longer on your mind as much.

No matter how old you get, old flames will sneak into your head from time to time, so enjoy the memories.

[Jake2008]

It seemed to me that she was in friendship mode all along. Casually keeping in touch, going out to have some fun a few times, nothing more.

I would have thought that at some point, the subject of having a boyfriend (or you having a girlfriend) would have come up in casual conversation. But that it didn't, doesn't mean that she had a serious interest in you anyway.

Who knows. Maybe she was testing the water and seeing if you were someone that might make a good replacement to her boyfriend. And I doubt that she told her boyfriend who she was going out with, other than 'a friend', and he likely presumed it was a girlfriend.

I think there was some deception on her part, that could have been avoided if she had been honest and told you up front that she had a boyfriend. And, in hindsight, had she told you that, you would have had a choice whether to meet with her, or not. And, had you known ahead she had a boyfriend, and decided to stay with him, rather than pursue a relationship with you, well... that doesn't say much about her character does it.

I would let her go, but don't be too hard on yourself. Should she come back into your life at some point, proceed with caution. I'm not so sure I'd trust her.

[sonicpana]

You both were helpful. Now I am going to put talaniman's advice into action. Sindce last time I talked to her I had already piked up skateboarding and I have given my guitar strings again to pas the time. I have to look for a new job now to so lots to do anyway.

Thanks both for your time.