[seeingdragon]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about eight months. I WANT SEX ALL THE TIME! He never does, in fact I believe if I didn't inisiate or suggest... we'd never do it. He says he is not into sex. When we do have sex? Most of the time we kiss and then he jumps on top of me and it's done. He doesn't like foreplay because "he's had a bad experience" BUT I LOVE IT! I think I am a fairly good catch cause EVERY OTHER GUY WANTS ME... except the one I want :( I have to masterbate to get myself off and am beginning to feel unloved or that he just doesn't find me attractive. I know he liked sex at one time because I've seen sexual conversations with other women and he has pornos made with some of his ex's! So? What am I to think? Do? Honestly, sometimes? I just feel like going and having sex with someone who does enjoy me... cause I NEED IT! Help!

[Louiegisinho]

Looks like he has just about enough of that subject if he was into porno. Maybe he got some venereal discease from one of those porno girls and now don't feel comfortable anymore. Or, other times men or even woman are just tired of the same old thing and want to try something different, say he maybe experimenting with men. But from what I see, you are headed in wrong directions both of you. He wants a Pizza Restaurant and you want a Chinese Restaurant. Find someone who shares the same interests as you do, otherwise you can be building a boring future for yourself. So, OPEN YOUR EYES and move on!

[Cat1864]

Have you talked to him (when not in bed) and explained that your needs are not getting met? Has he tried to accommodate your needs?

What was his 'bad experience' with foreplay?

Does he have any erectile problems? Men can experience erectile issues at any time in their lives for a large variety of reasons including stress, exhaustion, medications, different diseases, alcohol or recreational drug use, etc. Some men see erectile difficulties as meaning they are less of a man and try to hide their concerns under the headings of 'Bad experience', 'lower libido than their partner', or 'I just don't care for it.' Talk to him and find out if he is afraid of not being able to keep an erection.

Depending on what happened, he may have a mental block when it comes to foreplay. It could be that memories surface and affect his performance. Only he can tell you if he starts feeling like he is losing his erection due to the distraction of memories.

How often do you suggest or initiate sex? If you put a lot of emphasis on it, he may be feeling like that is all you want and is trying to show you how he feels.

Does your boyfriend show affection and intimacy in other ways at other times?

What he did with other women is in the past. You can't compare what you have with him to what he did before because circumstances change. You can be open about how his actions are affecting you and find out if there is a possible compromise.

Instead of thinking about cheating if you don't get what you need, get out of the relationship and find someone who can meet your needs. It isn't fair to anyone for you to bring another person into the relationship and making a larger mess than there already is.

Talk with him and listen to his needs and let him know what yours are. If you can't work together on this, then you probably will have issues communicating and compromising in other areas.

[mmsantos523]

First of all, as a woman, I think that you should not let a guy treat you like that, you need to value yourself a little more. If this dude is not paying any attention to you & doesn't want to do it, then forget him. You got plenty of other guys, don't waste your time with someone who's not willing to make time for you. & his past experience should have nothing to do with you guys' relationship... thats just a bunch of BS! You shouldn't have to pay for his ****ty sexual experiences... Spend your time with someone who's really worth your time. Maybe the guy you really want is turning out to be the guy you shouldn't be with. Give those other guys a chance... maybe they'll treat you better! Good luck!:)

[mmsantos523]

Past sexual experiences****