[weareeve]

My girlfriend and I have been dating almost 3 years. She's a wonderful girlfriend! She is respectful of my feelings and says she lives her life for me. I am pleased with the way she treats me for the most part. However, she can be a little controlling -- at least, that's how I feel. I have given up a lot of time with my friends and family just to be with her. I've even had to drop a couple classes because I would be spending time with her (arguing or whatever) and would miss mid-terms.

Now she claims that all she wants is for me to put her first and feels that I'm very selfish. I have done things to hurt her, though. I told her I quit smoking weed and then did it behind her back (I quit since then). She thinks I flirt with girls, and I've told her I will not talk to any female between the ages of 8 and 80. (I've really tried hard not to interact with any female, but the reality of it is that they're everywhere and I never have ill intentions. I never cheated on her nor will I. I'm not like that).

She says that I do nice things for her but when things really matter, I don't think of her and never do the right thing. The most recent example would be my father's bachelor party/wedding. For the party, my dad wanted the guys to run a few errands and then stay at his friend's house. She was given the option of staying with the guys, or staying with the girls. In my head, she was invited, but opted not to go. I was upset, but knew that it would be a little awkward for her, so I didn't push it. I didn't think that I shouldn't go, however. I compromised with her that if she let me go, I would come back to her that night and we would go to the wedding the next morning.

I thought all was well until she realised my dad had brought some Chinese food to his house. I had no idea he was going to do that and when I told the girl, she was furious! She thought my father did it on purpose and that he didn't want her there, and that's why he never told me about the dinner (the original plan was for us to get together and all have dinner, but things were changed and my dad and his new wife were going to spend the night separately).

Ok, so... She had already told me she was going to stay at her sister's house in a nearby town. (Skip some boring stuff) After 3 hours of being on the phone with her that night and barely being with my family, I told her I would come to her. I said I would hang out for a bit and then I would be on my way to her (it was 2am). Well, I ended up hanging out with my brother a little longer than I expected (I didn't get to her until 6am). She was very upset! She hit me numerous times, and was screaming at me. She was upset that even though I knew she was hurting, it was about doing what I wanted.

I broke up with her because she asked me to not go to the wedding. (It was for my father and I was the best man.) All I wanted was that she let me go without throwing a fit. Without hassling me while I was there. I didn't smoke pot, didn't watch porn. No strippers. It was clean old-fashioned fun.

And as much as I have written, it barely scratches the surface of it all. Of all the insecurities she has or all the wrong I've done to her. But does this make sense? Should she have thrown a fit like she did and expect me to come a running? Should I have gone a running? I'm kind of what I consider a free bird. I like my freedom and when I'm not allowed to do what I want, I get bitter and I have some resentment built up because of it. I believe that I treat her well, but according to her, not well enough.

Right now we're not talking to each other really. We live together, which makes it difficult not to see each other. What should I do? If there is any part of the story I can clear up. Please let me know. I appreciate any and all advice.

[talaniman]

Get the hell away from this insecure, unreasonable, abusive psycho!!

ASAP!! Then you won't need to smoke weed to feel better. Either that, or get her to a doctor, she needs help big time.

[Kristen00]

This girl is acting crazy. You can only feel bad for her to a certain extent before refusing to put up with it anymore, for your own well being. If she truly knew what mature love was, she would want you to be happy and have a great time with your family, whether she was there or not. She is acting like a spoiled princess, and you would be much happier alone or finding someone else, if you gave yourself the chance to do so. Trust me, I've been on both sides of this... I acted like her when I was a high school girl. Then grew up and have had guys try to be this way to me. It's crazy, and sick.

And by the way... I am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and am not on medication right now, and I still treat my boyfriend much better than this... it takes self-control, and love for the one you're with.

[mmresd]

Get out!!

That is the best advice you will get. This girl has problems of her own and if I was in your shoes I would be either completely miserable or would have left a long time ago. Couples need to learn how to balance time between time together and time apart, a good balance for example would be when you are with her, you pay attention to her, but you should also have time for yourself and your friends. This relationship is extremely unhealthy.

I will vouch that the crazy one in this relationship is her and that you are simply a victim of a very insecure and controlling female. Like I said... GET OUT NOW!! You seem like a nice guy, don't allow yourself to be manipulated by someone who doesn't love you and is only obsessed with you.

[FilthyDFC]

Wow I'm in the same boat almost. You're obviously a smart guy, you're a great writer. This girl sounds less than an ideal fit for who you are. If you want to smoke weed, then smoke weed... hell even strippers are OK once in awhile I think, as long as you're with your friends... It's not like you're going to the shake junt alone to get a lap dance.

Live you're life man, how old are you like 24? Life is way to short for anybody who is less than a 10 for you.

[shortyb]

OK well I'm a grl answering this I get mad sometimes at my boyfriend for going out but its when he gives me a time if he says hey I'm going to chill with so and so I'm be home late I expect it but when you throw a time or say I won't be long and the time changes I get mad but I don't know I get jealous a lot to so like I feel like I'm her side just not that extreme lol not the whole hitting because me and my man both smoke but I hate when he pops pills and sometimes he does lie about it and when I find out I get mad...