[Delliem]

We've been together for about a year and a half, and for the majority of it we've had one of the most open and loving relationships that I've ever been in. However about a year ago I fell into a fit of depression which lasted until about two months ago. I started to see a counselor to work past those feelings, and during this time I was kind of a walled up mess. She stayed with me through those dark times, however about 6 months ago she cheated on me.

I have come to accept that it happened, and for myself, have gotten over it. I know that I wasn't treating her right while I was depressed and she was weak and lonely. However now, she's so eaten up by guilt that she's going to a counselor to try and work through those feelings. She has to see both me and the other party on a regular basis, and she has a hard time cutting him off because she has so few friends. So he continues to flirt with her, and unfortunately right now, she remembers a lot of me not being here for her.

As of now, I'm back to my old self. I finished out my counseling sessions and I'm on a medication to stay balanced. She had her first counseling session last Tuesday. Afterward, we talked, and she said that she couldn't accept the guilt of what happened, nor my forgiveness. She said that she was "supposed to break up with" me that night, but we discussed the option of staying together until the counseling sessions finish and we agreed that it would be a good idea.

Since then we've been very open, discussing things that we saw as a problem in the relationship over the last year, our favorite moments, questions about things we have been nervous to ask about. Our communication now is stronger than it has been in about a year. However I noticed that she's stopped saying "I love you."

I'm going to ask her about it today, however I wanted to hear what opinions you guys had over my situation, and this issue.

[talaniman]

To use your flaws as an excuse for cheating, is unacceptable. To still be seeing the guy on a regular basis is unacceptable. To allow this out of your own guilt, is unacceptable.

This whole situation is both unhealthy, and unacceptable. Counseling, meds, or guilt.

[mmresd]

I believe that this relationship is done. It was good for you to be able to get over the betrayal she handed you, however if she cannot forgive herself then she will never be back to normal. If there is this much counceling needed and usage of drugs just to maintain a NORMAL lifestyle, there is something wrong. She cannot forgive herself and she has already made the choice to break up with you. The missing "I Love You's" is not the problem, it is the symptom to a much deeper problem. What I would recommend do is let her go, because obviously it is torturing her with guild for what she has done, and start healing from this. Unfortunately the damage has been done, and even though you scarred OK, it seems as if the scar still hurts on her side.

[vanheart]

Not everyone is right together.
The right time. Whatever our ailments & such. The right person.

Don't let this weigh on you. That will drive you crazy.
Look forward. Try living w/o this girl for a while. That may do you good.

If you guys REALLY want to work it out, then do it. Stop the BS.

How does all of this feel? Good?
If not, change that.

This is simply one of many chapters to come.
Get ready.