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Wondergirl · Nov 7, 2011, 04:11 PM

I underlined words and phrases you need to look at and possibly change.

Did you write the paragraphs that you posted first?

kari07 · Nov 7, 2011, 04:13 PM

What do I do to the underlined words? The paragraphs I sent you earlier are part of my essay, I want to add this paragraph in there? Is that possible?

Wondergirl · Nov 7, 2011, 04:16 PM

Read the underlined ones and rewrite. They don't make sense. Also do not suddenly use "you" in an essay like this.

Yes, incorporate this paragraph into the body of your essay.

kari07 · Nov 7, 2011, 04:18 PM

Do I change you to people? And what paragraph would it run smoothly to put in between to make my essay flow?

Wondergirl · Nov 7, 2011, 04:19 PM

Have you written this entire essay by yourself, or have you gotten help from someone (not me)?

kari07 · Nov 7, 2011, 04:27 PM

I have gotten help from one of my friends why?

Wondergirl · Nov 7, 2011, 04:29 PM

The writing style is different.

kari07 · Nov 7, 2011, 04:32 PM

Yeah, my friend revised and corrected the one I sent to you before that is probably why. Do you know where I can put that paragraph I just sent you to fit into my essay?

Wondergirl · Nov 7, 2011, 04:37 PM

I'd put it somewhere at the end. With Word, it should be easy to fit and tweak it and wedge it in somewhere. NOT the last paragraph -- and you might want to move some sentences around from one paragraph to another.

kari07 · Nov 7, 2011, 04:44 PM

Okay, I am going to retype my essay and add that paragraph in, then may I send it to you one last time and you check it one last time for me please to see if everything fits in order? And move which sentences around in which paragraph?

Wondergirl · Nov 7, 2011, 04:47 PM

You want the essay to make sense. Do your best and I will tear it apart. :D

kari07 · Nov 7, 2011, 04:50 PM

Okay, thank you so much for your help. When I am done typing it I will send it to you again?

Wondergirl · Nov 7, 2011, 04:58 PM

Yup. I'll be here waiting!

kari07 · Nov 7, 2011, 05:31 PM

In the story “To Build a Fire”, the author chooses the desolate Canadian wilderness as the setting, because the solitude the nature provides enhances the protagonist's isolation. In the story, nature is the ambiguous force that must be fought. The main character is very stubborn and conceited and ignores all the warnings about the disadvantages of traveling alone. Believing in his strength, rather than what he knew to be safe is what led to his demise. The story has many thorough descriptions of nature, the dangers of intense cold, and the different steps on freezing to death. Jack London uses these details to demonstrate the gravity of the protagonist's situation.
In the beginning of the journey, the main character notices only the cold. However, he sees the surface reality of temperature. Yes, it is cold, but he refuses to acknowledge the danger that the cold represents. “There was a sharp explosive crackle that startled him. He spat again. And again, in the air, before it could fall to the snow, but this spittle had crackled in the air.” (London pg. 378) The transformation of spit before hitting the ground exemplifies how dangerous the cold weather was.
As his journey continues, the man sees that he feels the cold more and more. “The frozen moisture of its breathing had settled on its fur in a fine powder of frost, and especially were its jowls, muzzle, and eyelashes whitened by its crystal breath.”(London pg. 379) At this point, the protagonist's is continuously cooling, and his body can't keep his heat fast enough. The man was not very hesitant in his decision making until he was deep into his journey. As he went on the realization on his hopes to surviving were slowly setting in. As his thoughts were coming in all at once, he did as much as he could so none of that would happen. The dog however, followed the man and is miserable because of the incredible cold. It instinctively knew that is was an inopportune time to travel. The man began to panic when he became so cold that he couldn't light a match to start a fire. He decided to kill the dog to get his fingers warm and start a fire. The incredible cold of the surroundings caused the man to take drastic measures to keep warm and influenced the rest of his choices in the story.
The protagonist is foolish in this situation, because he fails to use his imagination to prepare for events that could be coming. The man clearly understands that it is cold by using the temperature readings, but does not react properly. The dog uses its instincts to understand the cold and all of its dangers. It also knows the scent to where the men are located nearby. “It's instinct told it a truer tale than was told to the man by the man's judgment.” (London pg. 379) The cold had made the man face life and death, because he did not listen to the old man in the beginning who gave him advice. “When he had recovered his breath and control, he sat up and entertained in his mind the conception of meeting death with dignity.” (London pg. 389) That was the final step in the man realizing he was going to freeze to death. London uses the setting to show the seriousness of the man's situation, and how if he underestimates nature he can end up in death. By having the man realize his death, and there is nothing h can do about it, thesetting is further enhanced and lets the reader know that the cold is harsher than we would have ever expected. London's use of setting clearly has a big influence over the chain of events in the story.
This story is about a man's belief in only himself, his self confidence, and even his arrogance to a point that he doesn't recognize his sense of nature around him. London's story focuses on man versus nature. We all have this though going through our heads, and we think we know everything, so we ignore others who know what is right and wrong for us. In that case, the man's arrogance led him to his death, by not trusting the dog or others beliefs on what happens in the nature life. The man leads himself to the end of his life, trying to get across his struggles of nature, and unless he follows all of the rules he will face the consequences and die. The dog leads the man to lack of thoughts, because he doesn't know what is good for him. The man can represent mankind's arrogance about how he is so superior to his own style of living, not so much in the wilderness. The man can't picture everything that is going on in the wilderness, but the dog can just sense it is not good. The man depends on the dog for both emotional and physical comfort for communication. That leads to his stupidity, because he is talking about a dog not a human. The man's main arrogance is that he ignores both the voice of the old man and the dog. During the story, the man was given a lot of suggestions which he ignored, that showed he had lack of modesty and the understanding of the miserable territory he was entering. He was a newcomer to the winter, and all of this confused, unexpected things turned out not to be what he expected during his travel.
The trail was just an everyday obstacle for the man who thought he could achieve hiking it by himself with the knowledge of all his surroundings. Throughout his trip the man had misfortunes such as falling in the water and not being able to light a fire. The cold had affected his body so much that it became such a struggle for him to continue his journey. The surrounding wilderness increases the readers fear for the man's survival. The cold surrounding impacts the story in such a way that this bitter cold makes it so the man cannot survive. Socks, warm clothing, mittens and fire had failed him which made the dog have more of a chance for survival than the man. The dog was part of the nature, while the man wasn't even close to being part of it, or even used to the wild. His survival depended on building a fire and being able to dry his clothes which he was not capable of doing. “There was a fire, snapping and crackling and promising life with every dancing flame.” (London pg. 384) This shows that without fire, the cold would win his life. Since the surrounding weather was so bitterly cold, it shrunk the man's chances for survival and impacted his life significantly. The setting has such a strong influence over the character and is really the only thing in his way between life and death.
The extreme cold in London's story shows how hard it is for the man to stay alive. The setting places a big part in the man's life and his demise. The protagonist's failure to realize the extent of his situation ended with his death. The tone of this story, does not influence the readers mind thoughtfully, and does not feel sorry for the protagonist. He is a person who likes to do things his own way and disobey the rules of nature according to his own opinions. The ending result to the man's journey was from
His lack of imagination, communication skills, and not getting used to his surroundings around him which led him to bigger causes to deal with such as catching hypothermia. Through a chain of events, starting with a man's arrogance, and ending, and the unrelenting cold, one can see that the setting dictated the course of the story.

Wondergirl · Nov 7, 2011, 05:59 PM

In the story "To Build a Fire," the author chooses the desolate Canadian wilderness as the setting because the natural solitude enhances the protagonist's isolation. In the story, Nature is the ambiguous force that must be fought. The main character is very stubborn and conceited and ignores all the warnings about the disadvantages of traveling alone. Believing in his strength, rather than in what he knew to be safe, is what led to his demise. The story has many detailed descriptions of Nature, the dangers of intense cold, and the different steps on freezing to death. Jack London uses these details to demonstrate the gravity of the protagonist's situation.

In the beginning of the journey, the main character notices only the cold. However, he sees the superficial reality of temperature. Yes, it is cold, but he refuses to acknowledge the danger that the cold represents. "There was a sharp explosive crackle that startled him. He spat again. And again, in the air, before it could fall to the snow, but this spittle had crackled in the air." (London pg. 378) The transformation of spit before hitting the ground exemplifies how dangerous the cold weather was.

As his journey continues, the man feels the cold more and more. Of the dog, London writes, "The frozen moisture of its breathing had settled on its fur in a fine powder of frost, and especially were its jowls, muzzle, and eyelashes whitened by its crystal breath." (London pg. 379) At this point, the protagonist's body is continuously cooling, and he can't keep his heat well enough. The man is not very hesitant in his decision-making until he is deep into his journey. As he goes on, the realization of his vain hope to survive is slowly setting in. As his thoughts are coming in all at once, he does as much as he can so none of that would happen. The dog, however, follows the man and is miserable because of the incredible cold. It instinctively knows that is was an inopportune time to travel. The man begins to panic when he becomes so cold that he can't light a match to start a fire. He decides to kill the dog to get his fingers warm so he can start a fire. The incredible cold of the surroundings cause the man to want to take drastic measures to keep warm and influences the rest of his choices in the story.

The protagonist is foolish in this situation, because he fails to use his imagination to prepare for coming events. The man clearly understands that it is cold by using the temperature readings, but does not react properly. The dog uses its instincts to understand the cold and all of its dangers. It also knows the scent to where the men are located nearby. "Its instinct told it a truer tale than was told to the man by the man's judgment." (London pg. 379) The cold had made the man face life and death because he did not listen to the old man in the beginning who gave him advice. "When he had recovered his breath and control, he sat up and entertained in his mind the conception of meeting death with dignity." (London pg. 389) That was the final step in the man realizing he was going to freeze to death. London uses the setting to show the seriousness of the man's situation, and how, if he underestimates Nature, he can end up dead. By having the man foresee his death, and realize there is nothing he can do about it, the setting is further enhanced and lets the reader know that the cold is harsher than is expected. London's use of setting clearly has a big influence over the chain of events in the story.

This story is about a man's belief in only himself, his self confidence, and even his arrogance to a point that he doesn't recognize his sense of what Nature is telling him. London's story focuses on man versus Nature. This is a human characteristic: We all have this going through our heads, and we think we know everything, so we ignore others who know what is right and wrong for us. In that case, the man's arrogance led him to his death by not trusting the dog or others' beliefs on what happens in Nature. The man leads himself to the end of his life, trying to get through struggles with Nature, and unless he follows all of the rules, he will face the consequences and die. The presence of the warm dog leads the man to confusion and looking at the obvious solution without taking into consideration the long-term effects. He doesn't know what is good for him. The man can represent mankind's arrogance about how he is so superior to his own style of living, but not so much in the wilderness. The man can't picture everything that is going on in the wilderness, but the dog can sense it is not good. The man depends on the dog for both emotional and physical comfort for communication. That leads to the man's stupidity because he is talking about a dog, not a human. The man's main point of arrogance is that he ignores both the voice of the old man and the dog. During the story, the man was given a lot of suggestions which he ignored, and that ignoring showed he had far too much hubris and a lack of understanding the miserable territory he was entering. He was a newcomer to the winter, and all of the confused, unexpected things turned out not to be what he expected during his travel.

The trail was just an everyday obstacle for the man who thought he could achieve hiking it by himself with the knowledge of all his surroundings. Throughout his trip the man had misfortunes such as falling into the water and not being able to light a fire. The cold had affected his body so much that it became such a struggle for him to continue his journey. The surrounding wilderness increases the readers fear for the man's survival. The cold surrounding impacts the story in such a way that this bitter cold makes it so the man cannot survive. Socks, warm clothing, mittens, and fire had failed him which gave the dog have more of a chance for survival than the man had. The dog was part of Nature, while the man wasn't even close to being part of it, or even used to the wild. His survival depended on building a fire and being able to dry his clothes which he was not capable of doing. "There was a fire, snapping and crackling and promising life with every dancing flame." (London pg. 384) This shows that without fire, the cold would win his life. Since the enveloping weather was so bitterly cold, it shrunk the man's chances for survival and impacted his life significantly. The setting has such a strong influence over the character and is really the only thing in his way between life and death.

The extreme cold in London's story shows how hard it is for the man to stay alive. The setting places a big part in the man's life and his demise. The protagonist's failure to realize the extent of his situation ended with his death. The tone of this story does not influence the reader's mind positively; the author does not feel sorry for the protagonist. The protagonist is a person who likes to do things his own way and disobey the rules of Nature according to his own opinions. The ending result to the man's journey was from his lack of imagination, communication skills, and not getting used to his surroundings around him which led him to bigger causes to deal with such as hypothermia. Through a chain of events, starting with a man's arrogance and ending with unrelenting cold, one can see that the setting dictated the course of the story.

kari07 · Nov 7, 2011, 06:04 PM

That is what I should change it to?

Wondergirl · Nov 7, 2011, 06:07 PM

Of course, indent (I can't on here).

I made a few changes.

Let your friend read it, if there's time.

kari07 · Nov 7, 2011, 06:10 PM

Indent what sorry? And okay I will let my friend go over it.

Wondergirl · Nov 7, 2011, 06:12 PM

Indent paragraphs.

I simply put it in block style with line breaks to show paragraphs.

kari07 · Nov 7, 2011, 06:13 PM

Okay, thank you so much. Does this essay go with my topic though, because I am trying to get a good grade on this essay because I failed the last two.