[kari07]

Edited in loco. You use both present and past tenses. Use one or the other, not both.

In the short story, "To Build a Fire," the author chooses the desolate Canadian wilderness as the setting, because the solitude that nature provides enhances the protagonist's isolation. In the story, nature is the ambiguous force that must be fought [omit: during the day]. The main character is very stubborn and conceited and ignores all the warnings [add: about] and the disadvantages of traveling alone. Believing in his strength rather than what he knew to be safe[omit: ,] is what lead to his demise. The story has many thorough descriptions of nature, the dangers of intense cold, and the different steps on freezing to death. Jack London uses these details to demonstrate the gravity of the protagonist's situation.

In the beginning of the journey[add ,] the main character notices [moved: only] the cold. However, he sees [moved: only] the surface reality of temperature. Yes[add ,] it is cold, but he refuses to acknowledge the danger that the cold represents. "There was a sharp explosive crackle that startled him. He spat again. And again, in the air, before it could fall to the snow, but this spittle had crackled in the air." (London pg. 378) The transformation of spit before hitting the ground exemplifies how dangerous the cold weather was. [new paragraph] As his journey continues, [huh?: the man sees that he is feels] the cold more and more. "The frozen moisture of its breathing had settled on its fur in a fine powder of frost, and especially were its jowls, muzzle, and eyelashes whitened by its crystal breath." (London pg. 379) At this point, the protagonist is continuously cooling, and his body can't keep his heat fast enough. The man was not very hesitant in his decision making until he was deep into his journey. As he went on, the realization that he may not survive was slowly setting in. [sentence doesn't make sense: As this happened, he went to further extremes to ensure that this would not happen.] The dog however, [present tense?: follows the man and is miserable because of the incredible cold.] It [instinctively] knew that it was [add: an] inopportune time to travel. The man [present tense?: begins] to panic when he became so cold that he couldn't light a match to start a fire. He [present tense?: decides] to kill the dog to get his fingers warm and start a fire. The incredible cold of the surroundings [present tense?: causes] the man to take drastic measures to keep warm and [present tense?: influences] the rest of his choices in the story.

The protagonist is foolish in this situation, because he fails to use his imagination to prepare for events that could be coming. The man clearly understands that it is cold by using the temperature readings, but does not react properly. The dog uses its instincts to understand the cold and all of its dangers. It also knows the scent to where the men are located nearby. "It's instinct told it a truer tale than was told to the man by the man's judgment." (London page 379) The cold had made the man face life and death, because he did not listen to the old man in the beginning who gave him advice. "When he had recovered his breath and control, he sat up and entertained in his mind the conception of meeting death with dignity." (London page 389) That was the final step in the man realizing he was going to freeze to death. London uses the setting to show the seriousness of the man's situation, and how if you [one word: under estimate] nature you can end up in death. By having the man realize his death, and there is nothing he can do about it, the setting is further enhanced and lets the reader know that the cold is harsher than we would ever had expected. London's use of setting clearly has a big influence over the chain of events in the story.

The trail was just an everyday obstacle for the man who thought he could achieve hiking it by himself with the knowledge of all his surroundings. Throughout his trip the man had misfortunes such as falling in the water and not being able to light a fire. The cold had affected his body so much that it became such a struggle for him to continue his journey. The surrounding wilderness increases the readers fear for the man's survival. The cold surrounding impacts the story in such a way that this bitter cold makes it so the man cannot survive. Socks, warm clothing, mittens and fire had failed him which made the dog have more of a chance for survival than the man. The dog was part of the nature, while the man wasn't even close to being part of it, or even used to the wild. His survival depended on building a fire and being able to dry his clothes which he was not capable of doing. "There was a fire, snapping and crackling and promising life with every dancing flame." (London page 384) This shows that without fire, the cold would win his life. Since the surrounding weather was so bitterly cold, it shrunk the man's chances for survival and impacted his life significantly. The setting has such a strong influence over the character and is really the only thing in his way between life and death.

The extreme cold in London's story shows how hard it is for the man to stay alive. The setting places a big part in the man's life and his demise. The protagonist's failure to realize the extent of his situation ended with his death. Through a chain of events, starting with a man's arrogance, and ending and the unrelenting cold, one can see that the setting dictated the course of the story.

[kari07]

May you revise and correct it for me pleasE?

[Wondergirl]

I did and inserted brackets to show what I would change or add.

[kari07]

Okay thank you so much... and that was just like three pages and like not even half of the fourth it has to be five pages.. do you have any ideas what else I can write about to make it longer?

[kari07]

What does omit mean? And when u say add.. what do u mean like what should I add?

[Wondergirl]

Maybe add more in the beginning about what a seasoned Canadian woodsman would do and throw that in as you recount the mistakes this guy made. Was the protagonist a greenhorn? Where was he from? Any backstory on him?

[kari07]

Well my professor said my intro was pretty good.. what does omit mean? And when you say (add) what do I add? And should I make another paragraph about what? To make it longer?

[Wondergirl]

what does omit mean? and when u say add.. what do u mean like what should i add?

[omit: ,] means get rid of the comma.

[add: ,] means add a comma.

Please write posts/replies to me in grownup English, not in texting.

[kari07]

In the second paragraph the sentence where it says : As he went on the realization that he may not survive was slowly setting in. The sentence after that, which sentence did you mean did'nt make sense?

[Wondergirl]

In the second paragraph the sentence where it says : As he went on the realization that he may not survive was slowly setting in. The sentence after that, which sentence did you mean did'nt make sense?

"As this happened, he went to further extremes to ensure that this would not happen."

Two "happen"s -- as this happened... would not happen. Huh?

[kari07]

Okay, do you know what else I can add as new paragraphs to make it longer?

[kari07]

Sorry, if I am bugging I just don't know what else I can put to make my essay longer? So far, what I sent you is it bad?

[Wondergirl]

In the beginning, write about what a seasoned woodsman would do.

You don't say anything about his wanting to kill the dog and why, do you? (don't remember that you did) You can make a big deal out of that.

[kari07]

Will this be better? Sorry I am going by your options and I am trying to think of some on my own. Should I do one paragraph on the mans arrogance, and another paragraph on man vs. nature?

[Wondergirl]

I'm not sure where either of those would go. No killing the dog addition? -- the animal he most depends on for emotional and physical comfort, for communication, for so many other things I won't bother to list -- so he would kill that? Incredibly stupid and, yes, arrogant.

[kari07]

So, don't write about either of those I told you about?

[Wondergirl]

I'd agree about the arrogance and gave you one example of how the protagonist was so arrogant (and stupid) that he was willing to kill the one thing that was keeping him alive.

How did he happen to fall into the water? Arrogance?

How did so many other bad things happen? Arrogance or poor judgment or stupidity because he was out of his element?

[kari07]

Okay, so I should write one large paragraph about his arrogance. That is mainly writing about how he did'nt recognize the power of nature around him and why right?

[Wondergirl]

I didn't say "one large paragraph," and I have no clue what you mean by the "power of nature."

Just go forward and write.

[kari07]

Is this paragraph well written out and will it fit well into my essay?

This story is about a man’s belief in only himself, his own self confidence, and arrogance to a point that he doesn’t recognize his sense of nature around him. London’s story focuses on man versus nature. We all have this thought going through our heads, and think we know everything so we ignore others who know what is right and wrong for us. In that case, the man’s arrogance led him to his death, by not trusting the dog or others' beliefs on what happens in the nature life. The man leads himself to the cost in life, because he is trying to get himself across that nature is intolerant, and unless you follow all of the rules you will face the consequences and die. The dog leads the man to lack of thoughts, because he doesn’t know what’s good for him. The man can represent mankind’s arrogance about how he is so superior to the nature. The man can’t picture everything that is going on in the wilderness, but the dog can just sense it is not good. The man depends on the dog for both emotional and physical comfort for communication. That leads to stupidity, because he is talking about a dog not a human. The man’s main arrogance is that he ignores both the voice of the old man and the dog. During the story, the man was given a lot of suggestions which he felt to ignore, that showed he had lack of modesty and the understanding of the miserable territory he was entering. He was a newcomer to the winter, and this was at least what he had expected to happen. It must have been his own attitude in himself, and his ability that caused him to ignore the guidance from a person as experienced as the old timer.