[Robin77]

Hi all I'm in a real spot. Can you help me make up my mind? We're all 34. Sorry if this is long. I want to settle and raise a family, by the way.

I was in a 2-year relationship with my-then girlfriend, Girl A. We had some compatibility issues. She ended it since we were dating at work. She is a spiritual/ cultural Christian, doesn't believe in sex before marriage, so she's a virgin, has had a very sheltered life, still lives with her mum and sister. They've not had a man in their lives/house for 30 years. I'm her first boyfriend. I am very attracted to her. I think the situation got too serious for her, and she freaked.

I wanted to marry her. I was 100% in love. Still hurts now. I would marry her. I've had a lot of experiences, I'm agnostic/atheist. I was always hoping we'd get married despite the constant compromise, but she kept testing me, as she didn't feel confident that I wouldn't abandon her as her father did her mother. She is a good person, but inexperienced, is very shy.

We split up - as I'm agnostic, and she didn't like the heat of people at work knowing her personal life. I was gutted, but could understand.

Four months later, I date another girl, Girl B, same social circle, and we get on great. She's agnostic too. I'm not as attracted to her. She has psoriasis which puts me off from time to time (plus I worry about having kids with her and their inheriting the same condition) - in addition, she had it real bad as a kid for eight years.

But she is so easy to be with, a real gem. I often think she's the best girlfriend I've ever had. Still I don't get the butterflies or anticipation when I am with her. It's now coming up to ten months. I don't want to waste her time. She wants to marry the right man, hints she wants to marry me.

My ex, since I left, told me she loves me deeply and is waiting for me. It's been 13 months. I've told her to date others. She is a darling. I want to make a decision. I think about her loads. She has said she realises she pushed me away and says this time will be different. She appreciates me now, and would like to get engaged, if I'm available.

I want to resolve this as we're all unhappy...

They know about each other, but not the level of emotions they have or I have for them.

I'm not enjoying this.

My friends are split: one said get out, be single for a while, but most say once it's done, leave and don't go back.

What do you think?

[mmresd]

Completely your call, two very different woman... take a moment to think about what YOU want, not about what they want. Where would you like to be in 10 years? And which choice would be better to help you achieve your goals in life. It seems like girl A is the better choice in my opinion, just remember that you stick with your choice, and not play both of them. Also, if you don't really feel anything for the Girl B, then why would you take such a big step as marriage?

[Homegirl 50]

Take some time from both of them. Girl B has a condition you are not cool with, you need to leave her alone. It is not fair to her.
You need to realize that with girl A your beliefs are gong to be in constant conflict.
Are you in contact with the first one while you are seeing the second one? That is cold.
Leave them both alone and get your head straight. Neither of then may be the one, but stop playing with them.

[vanheart]

What do you want? That's the real question.

I say exes are exs.

Maybe you need to step back & take a break. Until you figure it out.

The worst thing is to lead someone else on. Says a lot about you.

Unfair. Does your girl know how much you want to be with your ex?

If everyone is so spiritual, then live by the golden rules.

Don't make the same mistake twice, or more.

[Robin77]

Thank you all.. I appreciate your advice.