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johny1990 · Nov 1, 2011, 04:19 AM

I'm a 21 yrs old male and when I was 15 I had sex with my best male friend like 5 times I was on bottom always and I had a girlfriend too. When I turned 17 I had sex with another guy like 3 or 4 times bottom as well.I like to watch gay porn more than straight but gay porn turn me on quicker. Now I'm 21 and I been dating this girl for a year now and I really love her we are happy. Sometimes I fantasize about guys and always me on bottom and being on top I think its nasty. I like girls and want to have relationship with girls. Relationship with guys I think its disgusting.Sometimes when I'm masturbating I finger myself and just thinking about big penis. I Just don't know if I'm gay.

Cat1864 · Nov 1, 2011, 06:08 AM

I don't think you are gay. If you were you wouldn't be happy in a relationship with a female.

You could be bi. If you can be attracted to men as well as women, you would be bi. Being bi doesn't mean you have to want or need both sexes all the time. But it doesn't sound like you are truly attracted to males.

What you could be experiencing is something that is common among heterosexual males, you like having your prostate massaged. The prostate is most easily stimulated by anal sex or toys. For some men, an adult toy such as a vibrator can help. Others who are more adventurous and have a consenting partner will often use strap-on vibrators/dildoes. It is something to think about and an area of erotica/porn you might want to check out.

It could also be that you have some tendencies toward being submissive (wanting to be dominated.) Being submissive does not have to mean you want to be whipped, tied up, humiliated, etc. (though there is nothing wrong with it if you do.) I have found that some male submissives who are into the lighter aspects of BDSM (Bondage Dominance Sado Masochism) tend to identify with the female characters or the male bottom in porn/erotica because those characters tend to be seen as being controlled/dominated by their partner.

These are just a couple of thoughts for you to think about and if you are comfortable talk over with your girlfriend. By talking it out with her and sharing fantasies you could work toward what you really want sexually.

The only other thing I will say is that I am a big believer in not labeling ourselves. Very few people fit into one neatly labeled box and I think we tend to ignore parts of ourselves when we try to force ourselves into a one stereotype. Enjoy being yourself and discovering all aspects of who you are. It tends to cut down on some of the confusion if you accept yourself as a unique individual regardless of what society and others might try to tell you.

Remember that you can work through your thoughts here if you want to. You can say anything you want and know that you aren't going through this alone. Good luck.

JudyKayTee · Nov 1, 2011, 07:21 AM

Excellent answer but I am uncomfortable with the girlfriend not having this information. Maybe the past relationship and continuing interest and curiosity are deal breakers. Maybe they are not but I do believe she has a right to know.

These are the problems that surface down the road and she's devastated by the "news."

ITgeek · Nov 6, 2011, 10:50 PM

You're definitely GAY!! Clearly you don't want a sexual relationship with a woman. But I'm sure a bi-sexual life would work for awhile. In a couple of years you will know more of what you want. Be true to yourself and your partners, if your heart isn't 100% in it with a woman don't put her through it, living a lie is more disgusting than anything.