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Wondergirl · Oct 25, 2011, 10:13 AM

My husband has been driving since he was sixteen (seems to have no problems and drives on busy highways), but our autistic son is 40, tried to drive and even got his permit, but there were too many stimuli coming at him all at once and too much to think about. Thank goodness we live in a town of 50,000 people, so he can easily walk to the doctor or grocery store or dentist or Dairy Queen or to his job at the public library.

At least he and you are smart to know your limitations. Daniel can remember everything he reads, so he helps me with trivia quizzes and crossword puzzles. If he would be less shy, he could be on Jeopardy! and make lots of money!

Wondergirl · Oct 25, 2011, 10:16 AM

Does your brother lives in Sussex County too?

Yes, my husband is very close to his family and is very happy in their presence. He likes only the familiar and only people he knows well. He has no adult friends except two guys he went to high school with. For that reason, he does not like to visit my family that lives 500 miles away and are mostly strangers to him.

HotHoneyVintage · Oct 25, 2011, 04:37 PM

w.g. well I said before I do not lives in sussex county I don't even know where that's at. I live in warren county... so what you do when you for your family visits then? Just leave your husband and son at home -- isn't that weird to your family? What you do for fun besides play with the cats?

Wondergirl · Oct 25, 2011, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage

w.g. well I said before I do not lives in sussex county I don't even know where that's at. I live in warren

Warren is just south of Sussex.

so what you do when you for your family visits then? Just leave your husband and son at home -- isn't that weird to your family?

My husband refuses to visit my family in NY, but his family lives near us, so we are often there. When we could afford it, I would take our two boys and fly to and from my parents' in NY. My husband and I (once school closed for the summer) would go on a two-week vacation with our sons -- out West.

what you do for fun besides play with the cats?

I'm a writer, I edit books for people, I do crossword puzzles, I clean house, bake sometimes, I read books and news magazines, and talk on the phone or work/play on my computer.

HotHoneyVintage · Oct 27, 2011, 07:04 PM

w.g.

Don't your family get mad or don't understand why he won't visit with them but you're always with his family :(? Is your husband clumsy/have coordination problems at all? A lot of your hobbies sounds like mine, I like cooking and baking, reading, and crossword puzzles too. I have houseguest staying with me at my parents house, 3 family members for one week, visiting. I don't like houseguest even though I like these people generally. I can't turn heat up high like I like it and I just like to have my space/privacy. Sigh. I feels selfish for being this way even though I'm not being nasty to them or anything. This been a long week and I just keep thinking about my life and how it have add up to pretty much nothing significant at this point. Most my peers/ex friends is way ahead in life their own families and everything.

Wondergirl · Oct 27, 2011, 07:16 PM

Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage

w.g.

Don't your family get mad or don't understand why he won't visit with them but you're always with his family :(?

No. My family lives over 500 miles away and allows us to live and do as we wish. What would they do if they don't like it? Not speak to me? Not send us a Christmas card?

is your husband clumsy/have coordination problems at all?

Yes. He refuses to dance or go bowling or play volleyball or softball or go bike riding -- large-muscle activities. So we figure out something else to do. He's good with small-muscle activities, like cooking and baking, and stationary large-muscle activities like decorating the house (painting and wallpapering and laying tile).

I just keep thinking about my life and how it have add up to pretty much nothing significant at this point. Most my peers/ex friends is way ahead in life their own families and everything.

That's only your own prejudices coming through. We are what we are. We accept ourselves as we are and do the best with what we have. No two people are the same, and each one of us has strengths and weaknesses. No one is perfect or lives a perfect life. Envying someone else is the biggest time-waster and energy-waster in the world.

HotHoneyVintage · Nov 1, 2011, 12:00 PM

Nobody seem to get it. Everyone says 'except things as it is' but yet they don't seem to get what I am saying about being 'normal' and wanting to be. Never mind, sigh.

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2011, 12:03 PM

Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage

nobody seem to get it. everyone says 'except things as it is' but yet they dont seem to get what i am saying about being 'normal' and wanting to be. nevermind, sigh.

I want to be Jennifer Lopez, but it won't happen in this life. Be who you are. There are so many wonderful and lovable things about you that make you unique. Why would you want to be someone else? You ARE normal -- so use your strengths, of which you have many.

HotHoneyVintage · Nov 1, 2011, 04:31 PM

Well obviously w.g. qualities is not that great and 'special' nobody ever even want to make me their girlfriend or take me out for a nice dinner or anything like that. Like the other girls I know. So IMO, nothing is that great or spectacular, if it was I wouldn't be sitting alone at home every weekend watching football and eating cheese curls by myself.

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2011, 04:36 PM

Do you want to be someone's girlfriend and go out on dates?

HotHoneyVintage · Nov 2, 2011, 07:46 AM

Well it don't seem to matter 'what I want' because either way it have never happened. But for the hell of it, yes, I would like to get asked on a date, I don't think that is asking too much out of life, sigh. Just once to see what it is like to be taken out sometime :( I highly doubt I am 'gf material' though. I am too nervous and would always be worried about doing something stupid or wrong and getting dumped.

HotHoneyVintage · Nov 2, 2011, 07:47 AM

Maybe he would just loose interest and dump me because I am boring.

Wondergirl · Nov 2, 2011, 07:51 AM

Too bad you don't live closer. I know two guys who would be willing to take you out, but then you would have to put up with their nervousness and worry that they wouldn't be good enough for you. It works both ways, you know.

HotHoneyVintage · Nov 2, 2011, 09:45 PM

Are they very desperate types? Would take any kind of woman just to have one or to get laid? If so I am not interested in that type of male... what kind of problems they have :/? Anyway I highly doubt they would be interested in taking me out. Now I don't know what cause this but when faced with a real possibility -- I decide I don't want to do it.

Wondergirl · Nov 2, 2011, 10:56 PM

Neither would want to get laid. In fact, that thought would scare them to death.

I hope you are safe and warm after the recent snowstorm. My friend in the county north of you has had no electricity all week.

HotHoneyVintage · Nov 3, 2011, 09:21 AM

Well... are they adult virgins or something? How would know that it would 'scare them to death?' what's their ages. Do they have kids?

We are fine. No loss of power, around here though many people have like your friends and there's some fallen tree limbs that's about it.

Wondergirl · Nov 3, 2011, 09:37 AM

Ages are 28, 36, and 40. All are virgins. None have ever been married. One has never dated. One has Asperger's. All are nice, moral guys.

HotHoneyVintage · Nov 3, 2011, 01:50 PM

Well what kind of women they like? What are their looks like - are they 'attractive' enough or not? Ty

Wondergirl · Nov 3, 2011, 01:55 PM

They like nice, moral women. All three are normal-looking.

Is there an Asperger's/autism support group in your county?

HotHoneyVintage · Nov 4, 2011, 09:33 AM

I looked one time to see if there's a support group in this county and there's on nearby but it's for parents that have kids with A.S. there's not really a lot of anything in this area :/

I feels I probably am a bad person or something that is why I am destined to live alone. Laugh all you want but that's how I see it.