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Lostchyld · Oct 17, 2011, 07:03 AM

So this is what happened. I broke up with this girl whom I had been very intimate and close to for 6 months around 5 months ago. We mutually broke up and she came to the decision that we probably are not meant for each other.

Sometime after we broke up (around 2 months after) she started sending me texts that are not meant for me like once in three/four weeks. She also called me asking me some really dumb question that she already knew the answer. I ignored her 'mistaken' texts completely. Twice in the period we have been apart she came to visit me once at home one of which I was not home and the other she came with her friend.

Two days ago she pulled the mother-load of all weird actions. She went to my best friend's store and proceeded to give him unnecessary information about how me and her only talk when we have something meaningful to say to each other and that she is giving me space. She spoke of how she has a new boyfriend but she broke up with him. She then told him to say hi to me.

WHY IS SHE DOING THIS AND WHO ASKED HER FOR ALL THAT INFO?! Am I reading too much into her actions?

Kahani Punjab · Oct 17, 2011, 07:55 AM

Lost Chyld,

First, let me welcome you to this beautiful site, dear!

It's a clear-cut case of you ex-gf being interested in you and wanting to win back your love, faith and company. Nothing to worry, but if you are also interested in her, or you love her or her company, contact her. If you can't dare to do so of your own, do so via your friend, whom she asked to say hi to you. Nothing weird about it. Sometimes due to lack of wisdom, experience or such stuff, people do childish things, which do not show they have low IQ, but because, they find it as only option, as they have not much of the socialization. Do not read too much into anything, esp. at first stage of your LOVE. See if she is made for you, or at least you love her, go. She is waiting for you.

Good luck!

Damiean · Oct 17, 2011, 08:06 AM

No your not reading too much into her actions she is just trying to get your attention from the way you describe the situation, best thing to do is either talk to her about what's really going on or just tell her what you honestly think about the way She is going about everything she is doing.

Lostchyld · Oct 17, 2011, 10:16 AM

Thanks a lot Damiean and Kahani!! I really appreciate the welcome and support. I guess you guys are just thinking like me. I think I too should sit down and think about what I really want with this bond that I share with her... I hope I get an answer. Thanks!!

Kahani Punjab · Oct 17, 2011, 10:18 AM

Lost Chyld,

Now, when you have gone through this reply/feedback, does your problems stand solved, or is there anything in your mind, which is still hanging around. I look forward to your opinion(s).

Good luck, again!

Lostchyld · Oct 18, 2011, 02:30 AM

Hey Kahani,

When I think about it, I can't run away from the fact that she came into my life when things were just so off and without her realising it, made everything so much more better.What stands in the way was and is my mental health.I was going through bouts of depression while with her and started getting help after we broke up. It killed me that I took her through a lot of strange things and I wouldn't want her to have to deal with that again.We are both done with university and I felt that its probably best that she gets someone worthwhile, someone whom as she said 'was probably meant for her'.
But here she comes with all these things that she is doing and I really don't understand her. I guess ill just keep on backing off from her.That would be the best thing for not only her but me.

badjuju · Oct 18, 2011, 03:38 PM

To me it sounds like she wants you back. I still don't know, do you like her? Putting everything aside, do you have feelings for her? Because if you do, you can't restrict your feelings for any reason. Follow your heart.

vanheart · Oct 18, 2011, 07:45 PM

You decided to split. Right?
"I broke up"
When you split, you don't worry about contact or texts.

"We mutually broke up"
Doesn't sound like it. Sounds like you don't understand breaking up.
Started to forget why you split.

Forget contact. Go NC.
Don't go backwards.

Lostchyld · Oct 19, 2011, 02:30 AM

Hey vanheart, you do put up some very good arguments. @ Bad Juju- I still do like her and like Van heart you put up a VERRRYYY GOOOODDD argument. Thanks you guys. :)

badjuju · Oct 24, 2011, 02:09 PM

Well, Thank you !
You said that you still do like her, and she is dropping this signs of interest. You should go hang out/do something with her and see where it goes. While spending time together, if she does anything that annoys or upsets you. Then maybe it wasn't meant to be. BUT if it is all smooth sailing then go for it ! :)

mmresd · Oct 24, 2011, 06:54 PM

@badjuju nice to see you staying on this site and continuing to offer advice, welcome to the family

She is grabbing at your attention, don't read anything, ignore her if you don't want anything to do with her, if you do, then go after it, nothing bad is going to happen.

Lostchyld · Oct 25, 2011, 06:21 AM

@ Bad Juju- Your Juju is the BEST!
@MMresd- Thank you for your input! People like you are saving people's lives throughout the world with the click of a button :)

Fr_Chuck · Oct 25, 2011, 06:27 AM

I think I may just be concerned about her if you were together a really long time and wanted to break, Would she turn into a stalker. I would have to consider if I wanted everything I did with her public at some other point in the future

talaniman · Oct 25, 2011, 02:34 PM

She may be trying to get your attention, or a reaction, she did feel moved to announce her break up, maybe she is lonely for attention, and wants some support to get over her latest relationship failure. I don't know, maybe she doesn't either!

She may not be direct, but I would sure be, before flights of fancy, or curiosity screwed with my common sense. She is an ex for a reason, but are you a friend, emotional tampon, or a shoulder to cry on?

Think before you go running to her rescue. I think all exes act strange, but is that a reason to make things complicated by feelings, without facts? Up to you what you do about it.

Kahani Punjab · Oct 25, 2011, 07:01 PM

Lost Chyld,

Your last post shows you are near some conclusion, even as you have not opened up fully to disclose where are you up to now. Talaniman has a lot clarified the case. Now, it is up to you to decide, what to do. She can have delibrately left you, but failing (perhaps!) in the latest/last relationship, she might have been looking up to you, for support, recalling 'happy' days with you. You weigh all the options, and what you want ultimately matters. Talk to her, hang out with her, if you want, but do not keep anything in mind, and do not do anything under stress. Calm down and decide. Sitting alone in some corner of the house, something will come to your mind, directing you to do this or that, which will come out of your thinking about your present state of mind, an eye on future and of course, the past experiences. We can just suggest or help or direct your attention to necessary, sifting out unnecessary.

Good luck and looking forward to your reaction!
Kahani

Lostchyld · Oct 26, 2011, 04:43 AM

@ Kahani: Nice to hear from you again! Both you and Talaniman brought out what was on my mind before I arrived at the decision I decided to take.She is an ex for a reason and I decided that having is sometimes not better than wanting.I felt that it was best I stayed away from her despite her 'emotional bombings'.I cannot just go to her at the very moment she acts in a strange way.She is an ex for a reason. Ignoring whatever it is she is or will try to do was the best course of action I could come up with. :) Thanks guys. By the way @ Talaniman- 'emotional tampon' THAT IS HILARIOUS!!