[flpdavis07]

He suffers with depression, and his ex wife won't let him see his kids, he has his ups and downs but this week he has not been himself he has stayed in bed pretty much since Wednesday and when he is up he don't interact with me or cuddle me at night when in bed like he usually dose I don't know what to do or how to cope with him being off with me is it that he don't want me please could someone help me

[vanheart]

Is this your first question here?

Sounds like a couple recent questions here.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-deal-baby-mama-drama-604188-new.html?eid=345011#post2924906
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-deal-baby-mama-drama-604188-new.html?eid=345011#post2924906

Read those ones. Do some exploring here. Read the stickies. And other's stories.

There's no quick fix.
Why are you with him to begin with?

I would start there.

[flpdavis07]

Yep this is my first question on here, I am with him because I love him

[Wondergirl]

Is he seeing a therapist for his depression about his kids and getting legal help about that?

[talaniman]

You may love him, but he has many issues of his own to cope with that prevent him from loving YOU.

IF you choose to stay, don't expect much. I would sure be giving him some distance and find other ways to make yourself happy besides depending on him for anything.

For whatever reason, this is to one sided to be healthy, especially for YOU. He needs to get help, or you need to get GONE!

[flpdavis07]

Wondergirl no he ain't seeing a therapist for his depression, he is no medication for it but I don't think it is helping him.

Talainman I don't want to leave him I love him and he dose love me I don't expect anything from him I love him for who he is and how he makes me feel, and the things he dose, just need a bit of advice, as he is 16 years older than me.

[talaniman]

Can you at least get him to a doctor to have his meds adjusted, or changed? You can't help someone that's not helping themselves, and unless they do it gets worse not better.

Maybe you drawing a line, that says he either get himself to a doctor or you leave will get him motivated to help himself, but there will be no change unless SOMEBODY does SOMETHING, right?

[flpdavis07]

He has already had his medication changed once but I think this medication is doing the reversed effect of what it is meant to do.

[talaniman]

Then go back, its an on going process.

[vanheart]

Don't carry all of the weight. You can only do so much.

Do you have any support? Family, etc..

Maybe contact some local help agencies.
That specialize in depression. Have you talked to his doctor? Got their take?

We can help point you in that direction.

[mmresd]

You have two options, leave a tormented guy whose problems will make your relationship be a long haul that may never be worth it. Or, stay with him and hope that somehow he resolves his own problems, this is not your issue, however, it is your fault to be going through this because you are aware of how things are and are probably going to be for a while, the choice is yours.

[flpdavis07]

Yes I have support from family friends and work colleagues I haven't spoken to his doctor as of yet as he needs to first, I don't want to leave him I love him I don't think it helps that his ex wife has stopped him seeing his kids he has not seen them for nearly coming 3 months and its not like he don't pay maintenance because he dose with out fail even if it leaves him with out food for the month, and before you ask no its not though csa

[talaniman]

I don't think its fair he takes his problems out on you. That's not love, not in my book. Nor do I think it fair that you allow it.

[flpdavis07]

He don't take his problems out on me he has a past witch I took on when I got with him just he has been suffering with depression more than normal