[jkowalik]

I've been talking to this girl for almost a year now and her ex boyfriend is a ahole. She's still not over him and I don't know what to do. She told me she likes me a lot and she wants to take things slow so she can forget about her ex. I told her I will wait until she is ready,but the more we hangout and talk the more I like her. Its coming to the point where I'm feeling depressed because I like her a lot and she's not ready to date. I take her out to dinner and go to movies to show her how I really feel about her. And I've always talked to her when she was upset so at least it feels like I'm doing something right. She says she hates him but she still talks to him and he tells her how he wants her back. I'm just really confused and don't know what to do. Should I keep talking to her,trying to make her get over him? Or should I stop talking to her because it is becoming very stressful on my part?

[John700]

I have a similar scenario I would be glad if you could give your input on my question to. I would advise you keep at it, but just be straight up and ask her if she wants a relationship with you, don't push it cause she might feel like your rushing her. Most likely if she wants to take it slow I suggest you do what she wants so you can keep her happy.but the biggest advise I can give you is to tell her you like her, or tell how she makes you feel. It worked for me in a way. Lol Goodluck. ^____^

[Hardhit0007]

John700 is right. Tell her how you feel and that your there for her. Tell her she's not alone and never will b. She needs comfert

[Cat1864]

You can't 'get her' over her ex. That is something she has to do on her own in her own time. Frankly, if she is still talking to him, then there are still feelings there that she needs work through. She may believe she doesn't care for him, but the 'hate' may be masking the 'love' that still lingers.

She is confused and needs to take time to end that confusion. You don't say how long ago she broke up with him, but it doesn't matter because she still has a relationship of sorts with him.

I think you need to back off and not be her crutch. It adds to the probability of her transferring her feelings for him onto you. While it might sound like a good thing, it isn't. You would be a stand-in for what she really wants. It isn't fair to you. It increases the odds of you being a rebound and getting hurt when she either heals and moves on or decides the real thing is better than a copy.

Be her friend if you can handle it, but do not try to become more or to replace her ex. If you can't handle her pace, then move on and find someone who isn't emotionally invested in another relationship.