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despneedhlp · Oct 22, 2011, 07:15 AM

My 19 yr old daughter is ruining my marriage and being a terrible influence on her younger siblings. She is leaving her nude photos on our home computer and coming on to her step-father, she does not work, clean up after herself and she has been arrested for shoplifting recently and when she was younger, she was in juvenile for a short time for hitting me on several occasions. She pretty much does whatever she wants and I want her to leave , when I tell her it's either join the military or get out she says " I will not join the military" so I tell her to get out and she will not leave. We gave her a car and a cell phone, but she has no where to go. I do not know what to do, I have no friends to talk to because since she is so awful, I never let anyone in my life, for the shame. We have tried counseling, she lies and refuses treatment. PLEASE if anyone has any advice ....help!

Milzfay · Oct 22, 2011, 07:27 AM

This maybe hard but call the police, she is now an adult and if you don't want her in your life then you have the right to kick her out.SHE IS 19 NOT 9, call the police it will make your life better better.

Angel_Wings · Oct 22, 2011, 07:57 AM

Google: "how to evict adult child"
AND
Google: the laws in your state concerning giving notice of eviction

YOU... are 'enabling' this behavior and 'giving' her things it seems she has not 'earned' and so she has an 'entitlement' mentality AND she does not believe you will 'kick her out'!

I also suggest reading about "Boundaries"...

Wanting your home free from this kind of behavior and influence (especially on your younger children)... is a good thing, and wanting your daughter out, (because she is the one doing the behavior and an inappropriate influence) is about the love and respect you desire for your home and family... including the daughter you want out.

Be strong... for your daughter and your family. Give here 'written' notice (as specified for your state) and call the police and have her evicted if she does not leave on the date you have chosen!

YOU... get counseling and therapy for yourself in order to become strong enough to 'let her go'!

despneedhlp · Oct 22, 2011, 09:18 AM

Do I really have to give an eviction notice? I really want her out immediately. She is doing community service right now and I sent her a message telling her not to come back, though I'm sure she will.

JudyKayTee · Oct 22, 2011, 10:16 AM

She has to be evicted according to the laws of your State. There's no way around that.

If she puts her hands on anyone report it to the Police and get a restraining order - that will keep her out of the house.

JudyKayTee · Oct 22, 2011, 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by Angel_Wings

Be strong... for your daughter and your family. Give here 'written' notice (as specified for your state) and call the police and have her evicted if she does not leave on the date you have chosen!

This is not how eviction works. Good personal advice but bad legal advice.

jenniepepsi · Oct 22, 2011, 10:40 AM

Judy does the eviction process apply even if the individual is NOT paying rent, and is living in the home for free with no contribution?

JudyKayTee · Oct 22, 2011, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

Judy does the eviction process apply even if the individual is NOT paying rent, and is living in the home for free with no contribution?

Yes - people have to legally evicted. That's the problem when you invite a friend or relative to live with you (or when adult children never leave or move back in).

Of course, if you can tell someone to leave and they do leave it saves everyone a whole bunch of trouble.

jenniepepsi · Oct 22, 2011, 12:38 PM

Ahh thank you for explaining :)