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lttlmskntbwrong · Oct 22, 2011, 10:03 AM

Hello, my son is 2 and a half. His bio father is an abusive alcoholic. I have sole physical and legal custody. When he lived in NY I made every attempt possible to arrange times for him to see his son( he has supervised visitation ) and every time I would set something up, he would cancel. Now he lives in NC, and we are in NY. He does not pay his court ordered child support, and does not try to contact my son. The only thing he's concerned with is "sticking" it to me. He doesn't care about my son. He even showed up to our last custody hearing drunk! The courts gave him a breathalizer on the spot and he blew a .26 at 9 am. My fiancŽ and I would very much like for him to be able to adopt my son, but I know for a fact that his bio father will not voluntarily sign over his rights. Is there anyway to go around him as he is not getting treatment for his alcoholism, and is very much still drinking and using recreational drugs. HELP !

JudyKayTee · Oct 22, 2011, 10:10 AM

You need the consent of the biological father in order to have a third party adopt the child.

NY also "prefers" that the adopting parties be married. They want to see a commitment to each other and to the child.

ScottGem · Oct 22, 2011, 11:02 AM

Judy's answer is correct (I don't know if you marked it as unhelpful, if so that was unwarranted).

There is a possibility that you may have your HUSBAND adopt without his consent if you can prove it is in the best interest of the child. But before you can even start that you need to be married to at least a year.

So get married, wait a year, then consult an attorney to see what your chances are of forcing the adoption.