[mae11]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. And we have been living together since Feb. He used to drive about 35 minutes to see me like 3 or 4 times a week and we would have sex every time he came down. And even a little while after we moved in together we had sex a lot, but now its nothing. Maybe twice a month if that. I don't like asking him to have sex because he gets a little jerky about it and he says he's never in the mood. He doesn't like intense make out sessions because it turns him on but he doesn't want to have sex which I don't get at all. I don't know what to do. I've tried to ignore him... Wear skimpy night gowns we take showers together and I try to initiate something and he blows it off... I wish we would have sex more. Not like 3 times a week. But it would be nice to have it at least once a week or something...

[talaniman]

Can you entertain the idea that things have changed adjustment have to be made and the lust has worn off, and other areas of the relationship have to be cultivated so love can grow, if it's there.

Sex starts in the brain, so make love to the mind, and see if the bodies follow. Bet you two don't know enough of each other, as a year is no time at all. May I suggest developing some honest communications and interactions other than about sex to resolve your issues? Skimpy outfits don't work as well as mental, and spiritual intimacy.

[blueiris982551]

I agree you need to cultivate other areas of the relationship however I think that's really odd and bizarre that you only have sex twice a month. My boyfriend and I have sex several times a night when we're together and even when my ex and I lived together we would have sex at least 5 times a week and we were together for 6 years. If my current boyfriend says he just wants to cuddle I throw a fit. I'm sorry but a girlfriend that wants sex all the time isn't a bad girlfriend if she fulfills other aspects of the relationship. I'm not promiscuous by any means but when I'm with someone you better be prepared to do it all the time. I'd ask him if he was gay ;-)

[Soulgirl]

Seems like there could be something else bothering him. I would not take it personally, guys are different, they don't talk about what's bothering them. You should explain to him how this makes you feel, perhaps he does not know that its bothering you.