[monica01]

I'm with my boyfriend 4 years now and we have a 17 month old baby, the past few months we aren't getting on, I no longer fancy him at all, we never ever have sex, maybe once every 3 months, we fight constantly, and I'm just thinking is it worth staying together for this crap. He is good like he works for himself, he pays the rent and bills etc but I just don't feel happy, but then I don't want him to get another girlfriend and be happy, please help me... confused!

[talaniman]

What the arguing about?

[vanheart]

Its not crap.

You have a child together, now.

What's the plan?

[monica01]

Arguing over everything, little things even such as not putting the used tea bags in the bin. I could just get a house of my own and try meet someone new :/

[talaniman]

Is it you who starts these arguments? Do you work? Or do you have a household allowance?

Do you have family, and friends that you see a few times a week? I ask, because I think you maybe going through a normal transition period, that require some routine adjustments, to avoid being restless, irritable, and discontented.

When was your last check up? How have you been managing your menstrual cycles? Don't laugh, those small details have a profound effect on females, (and males that they are with), after child birth.

I doubt that either of you is the same person as you were two years ago.

[Jake2008]

So for the past couple of months as you say, you haven't been getting along. You fight over minor things like the teabags not getting in the garbage can. Yet he is a good provider, works hard, and I presume a person with at least some good qualities- you did decide to have a baby with this man after all.

So, you want to move on because you have tried everything you can to improve the communication between the two of you, and make positive changes in your lives together, and he is... what. Not trying? Not willing to work on the relationship? Not taking his role as a father seriously?

Or are you just flapping your gums here, complaining about trivial matters, that, with a BIT of effort, could improve your lives, and the life of your child.

What happens when you bring up- without arguing- how you are feeling, including the fact that you are wondering if a good alternative to the problems in the relationship, is to move out and find somebody better. What happens when he brings up what he sees are problems, and how do you both address issues, together, with a common goal of finding solutions.

As a young mother, in a relationship with a good man, from your own words, just what is your problem?

[monica01]

I work part time, I just can't stand him, we never kiss, cuddle or anything that young couples should do, yes its me normally starting all the rows cause I just want to I don't know why. I'm sure I could survive on my own there's plenty on single parents.