[mj456]

Hey there, new to this website noticed that some people have asked similar questions to this but I keep finding myself in a unique situation different from other posters here. Going to try to keep short as possible.

Met this girl about a year ago in one of my classes, where we kind of hit it of as friends, but the sexual attraction between us has always been magnetic, but nothing happen between us for whatever reason. Then for the beginning half of this year she studied abroad in her dream country, and apparently met a guy there and started dating him (didn't know this then) for like 3 months and then has been LDR since. She came back this summer but we didn't hang out at all until about a month and half ago because we are studying for law school admissions test that we are going to take in a couple of months. The thing is though we hang out only to study but our friendship has grown very strong (which the attraction between us is like before) to the point of where the feeling can be mutually felt and I can see it in her eyes that we should be more than friends.

We flirt all the time, are very open and honest with each other, hell we basically almost act like couple, even argue sometimes like one, and beginning to read each others mind. I know about this LDR which is on its 5th month and the guy is halfway around the globe and is not from here, but she hasn't mentioned him to me in a way that would be of someone who is serious about this (idk why she got into in the first place nor do I really care either). He's only come up twice ever in conversation and both times were random incidents that had nothing to do with me or what I was doing with her.

My feeling of the situation is that this dude is on the out and she is exploring options. I have many friends who are females and I know this is no friend zone situation nor is this girl using me as an emotional fill in, because she has said nothing about him or how she feels about him to me, its been nothing but good times, but I find myself in this weird place because I feel the tension and desire between us growing every time we are together and I find myself seeing three options here:

A) Make a move and seal the deal (thing is she has said the B-word only twice though LOL in a month and a half but yet again it was in the most non-serious manner possible and in conversation that had nothing to do with me or stopping me from showing interest. Plus she hasn't officially broken up yet, and if I did that I would feel like an a-hole, plus couldn't trust her if she got into a relationship with me, some douche could do the same thing to me)

B) Continue the current path of just being flirty with her let the desire come more out of her, and be patient because I definitely feel that this dude is on the out (just not sure when yet, also this **** is tormenting my brain to a degree it sucks)

C) Don't force her into making a decision about us and him, but more like level with her to see what's up, and see if there is a potential future for us, so that I at least know I'm not investing into a pipe dream here and let things draw out (and if so would it better to do it now, or let this situation play itself out a little more and tell her a couple weeks from now where the feelings and desire are much stronger)

Definitely weird situation could use some advice on this

[Cat1864]

Normally, I would say to take a step back and leave her to work out her own relationship issues. However, in this case, you might ask her if she is still seeing the other guy. Find out if they are still in a relationship or if it ended and she just hasn't said anything.

If they are still in a relationship, back off and let her deal with it on her own. Do not allow yourself to be used as an excuse to get out it. If she can't end one relationship before starting another one, then you do not want to be involved with her as anything other than friends. People who slide from one relationship into another one tend to always be looking for something and not finding it. Usually because they don't put actual work into a relationship to know what they need. Their partners after awhile start wondering when the person is going to move on without any warning.

If they aren't in a relationship and there isn't a chance that you would be a rebound, ask her out on a date. See if there really is something there besides attraction. People will often act differently on a date than they do when out with a friend. Try a couple of dates before you see if there is more than friendship in the relationship. Just because you know each other as friends does not mean there is any rush to jump into a committed relationship or exploring 'sexual tensions'.

The last thought and most important: Do you want to take a chance on losing a good friendship if a romantic relationship doesn't work out?

[talaniman]

Your friends, don't assume, ask her about her boyfriend. See what she says and then figure out the next move. While its not unusual to fall for a lovely lady you spend a lot of time with, always keep yourself under control, and know when to back off, and not get carried away by those feelings of wanting more.

Go with facts, not just feelings no matter what her eyes are saying. I can understand smitten though, but no reason to be foolish. You are right, if she can cheat on him, she can cheat on you. Besides, why is she the only female you are talking to. That's half your problem, you are limited in your options so only focus on this one. Stop flirting with her and go on a few dates with other lovelies why don't ya?