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lljackson08 · Oct 13, 2011, 07:06 PM

I live in Iowa and I have an 18 month old some with a disorder. The father is on the birth certificate but has not paid a dime to help or even ask what his child needs. I've tried to let him see him but he has a wife, 2 other kids and women on the side. I tell him my child is not to be around this so he can't take him. There is no court custody. He doesn't call and hasn't seen his child in months and by months I mean 4-6. My child was in the hospital for 2 surgeries and he knew and wasn't even there for them, or even afterwards. What is Iowa's law on abandonment?

Fr_Chuck · Oct 13, 2011, 07:34 PM

Well you can use this to file in court for custody, which is what abandonment does or allows. It gives you a better ground for your custody.

Also if there is not a child support order, in general he does not owe anything yet, so why are you complaining he is not paying if you have never even went to court to get a court order ?

So you go to court, get a court order for custody, and he can file for visits and you can prove your point.

Of course, you can't control when he has his visits normally where he takes the children or who they see, unless they are a threat to the child. So don't expect to stop him from taking the child around other people just because you don't like them.

In fact, if he proves you refused him visits because you did not want the children around certain people, who are not a threat, that may go againce you also.

Remember without a custody agreement, if he took the child, he has just the same ( equal) rights to keep the child as you do at this point

ScottGem · Oct 14, 2011, 03:51 AM

When posting on a site like this it's a good idea to browse around first for similar questions. You might find an answer or learn how to best ask your question. Had you done so, you might have seen this sticky: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-364259.html

You would have learned that abandonment is not the issue here. You said you haven't gone to court to establish custody, have you gone for child support? If you haven't he doesn't owe you a dime. If you want him to help pay the child's expenses you need to go to court for child support. But he may counterfile for custody and visitation.

What did you think charging him with abandonment will get you?