[a_troubled_girl]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He's 28 and I'm 21. In the beginning, obviously we were intimate quite often (as are most couples in the 'honeymoon' phase). As time went on we stopped having sex as often.

I was okay with it because it's completely natural for a couples sex life to slow down after being together for a while.

He's not a cheater, I know he isn't, because the majority of the 3 years we've been together we've both been unemployed and searching for work. Meaning we literally spent 24/7 together.

But now he finally found a job (he's been working for almost 2 months now). He works 7 days a week 10 hours a day. He's only had 2 days off since he started.

I make sure to do what I can for him while I'm still unemployed. I make his lunch in the morning, do his laundry, rub his hands and feet when he gets home, make his dinner, and anything else he needs me to do. I do these things because I love him and I want him to be comfortable when he gets home.

This is embarrassing but, I even try to give him BJ's when we're in bed. I never try too late because I know he has to get up early, and I don't force it on him right when gets home (tried that and he wasn't in the mood). I make sure we're in bed for the night before I try.

But no matter how hard I try he's just not into it, sometimes he'll just close his eyes after a few and try to sleep while I'm preparing to do the deed and sometimes he'll get mad at me and be rude to me when I'm trying.

I told him that all I want to do is give, and I'm not asking for anything in return but he just ignores me or doesn't care to respond.

I have gained some weight (as would anyone unemployed for almost 3 years), and I am trying to lose it and get on a healthier track. Do you think my weight gain has turned him off so much that he won't even let me give him head?

Do you think it's just because he's working so much and too tired to get in the mood? (He does do construction so the work is very physically draining, especially since it's 10 hours a day and 7 days a week)

I might just be looking too deep into things, he might just want to sit back and watch TV before bed. Help?

[talaniman]

His lack of honest communications is what I see. No excuse for that. Because he has a job now, I think he resents that you don't.

May I suggest that you forget this boob and start getting your own act together that doesn't depend on him?? As in be more independent until he can open up and talk. When couple stop talking things usually go down hill fast.

Have you tried talking about life other than sex? From what you have written, he doesn't sound like a very willing partner.

[feeblechicken]

I can't tell if your boyfriend loves you because your description is all about sex and not communication. It almost seems more suitable a question to ask "Does my boyfriend lust me?" The only thing is to communicate with him and relationships don't work with only one side giving.

[Charlie0x]

K, no more BJ's. That is not helping. And its good you are acting so caring but do not become his personal slave. Yes, his job will be very draining and you will just have to wait until he has a couple days off. If he only has one day he will most likely want to spend it relaxing. Trying to have sex with him is not the answer. Just show him that you are there and wait for him to come around. Yes, try to get on a healthier track but if he is truly in love with you he won't care about the weight gain. But it is healthier to lose it so I suggest you go for a run while he is at work, or at least walk once a day, you'd be surprised how much an energetic walk can help. I'm almost positive he just needs time. Construction work is tiring and he just wants to sleep and relax while he is at home so maybe try to engage in a nice, light conversation but don't try to get him in the mood. Give him time and I'm sure he will want you again. I'm sure he still loves you.