[dreindl]

This will be a pretty long post so I am sorry for that but there is a lot to say. I dated my ex for a year and 3 months. Everything went south after we started talking about our future together but our relation was absolutely perfect up until we started having those conversations because I was unsure of how I felt because I was only 19 and was worried that I was planning the next 5 years of my life out with somebody. It scared the **** out of me.

We broke up this past summer after going on a 'break' for 1 month and I was devastated and before we broke it off I realized all of the mistakes that I had made. I wanted her back so badly and figured when I get back to school (we both go to University of Florida) that I would try to win her over. We hung out a few times and after the 2nd time of hanging out I figured it was her turn to contact me. I tried to join this club that she is in and suggested something to her and she completely ignored everything I wrote . This was in an email. So I figured well friends don't exactly do that to each other so I decided it was time to move on.

I initiated no contact about 5 weeks ago and this past week she calls me almost every day to get lunch together. Finally on Wednesday it worked out and we got together and I told her everything I was up to. (I joined the water polo team and a club for my major) and just stuff I did on weekends. When we were together she started talking about how much she wanted to hang out more and it seemed like she was trying to relate to me so much. She wanted to talk about basketball, a video game I like, swimming/water polo. Etc. (she said a long time ago that she thought playing water polo was sexy, this was when we were together) now all of a sudden she likes swimming?

At our lunch date she told me she wanted to go swimming together so she could see me in my speedo. It just feels like she is coming on pretty strong. She invited me to a party tomorrow that she is throwing and I tried to get out of it but she was very persistent in
Me going too. I accepted the invite.

Here's the thing she has been dating some dude for about the same amount of time as we have been NC. I asked her how it was going with him because she brought it up and she went silent and then said sometimes she is OK with the relationship and other times she wants to break up with the dude. Perhaps I'm reading between the lines but to me it seems like she wants to get back together and is giving subtle hints but at the same time I could be seeing what I want to see. Her relationship seems like a rebound. Any thoughts on what is going on? I'm so lost right now... Thanks for reading!

[pandead]

Here's the thing she has been dating some dude for about the same amount of time as we have been NC. I asked her how it was going with him because she brought it up and she went silent and then said sometimes she is ok with the relationship and other times she wants to break up with the dude. Perhaps I'm reading between the lines but to me it seems like she wants to get back together and is giving subtle hints but at the same time I could be seeing what I want to see. Her relationship seems like a rebound. Any thoughts on what is going on? I'm so lost right now....Thanks for reading!

Dude,
There is no "reading between the lines." She is dating someone and she might be considering breaking it off if you want to get back together - and she can break up with you if she meets someone she is interested in later.

While you were in NC, moving on with your life, what was she doing? She was dating SOMEONE ELSE. You gave it another shot (which is more than enough) but she didn't want you back. You gave it another shot -again- when she wanted to meet because now she is bored of him (well, "sometimes"... ) and she decided she could try getting back together with you.

So, how many times are you going to try?

[talaniman]

Nothing worse than a rebound, except one where you want to rebound back to the one you rebounded from.

If you were the new guy would you be hurt she was still looking to get back with an ex? No guy, she ain't the one. You might want her to be but I don't think this will work. Since you are talking address this directly before you keep going down the path of hopeful limbo.

[vanheart]

BTW, Ahem..

You haven't been on NC. Even started.

"Here's the thing she has been dating some dude for about the same amount of time as we have been NC"

Get it?

Here's what I got:
"We hung out a few times and after the 2nd time of hanging out I figured it was her turn to contact me"

Should have stuck with that. You didn't get the message. Didn't listen.

Whoops.

What are you doing? Bugging your ex that has a new boyfriend?

Get real.

[dreindl]

@vanheart, I was in NC I only found out about her new boyfriend after we hung out last week I had no prior knowledge about this. She told me this when SHE contacted me. Sorry for not being very specific but I promise you I was in NC. SHe told me they had been together for 2 months and that is roughly how long we have been in NC.

[talaniman]

Well now that you see how easy old feelings can be stirred up, then go back to No Contact, and since you now KNOW she has a fellow, there is no reason to be available for her at all wouldn't you say?

[vanheart]

NC is zero contact.

She contacted you. And you hung out.

Didn't go well, now, did it?

But that's in the past now. Go back to NC.

She's got a guy. Now you can spend all of your time not worrying about her.

[dreindl]

OK Gentlemen. First Off, I don't plan on never talking to her again and so I figured 6 weeks was a good moving on period and that is precisely what I did. Now the purpose of this post was just to get some opinions on what you think she is thinking. Not necessarily because I want to get back with her I am just confused and want some input from some people who may have had similar experiences. I would still like to be friends with her and am not trying to steal her back from this dude. And vanheart the meeting did go very well in fact. IM confused on where you inferred that it did not go well...

[vanheart]

"the purpose of this post was just to get some opinions on what you think she is thinking"

I can't help you there.

I can't get in her head, except for the fact she doesn't want you as a boyfriend. That I got. You haven't, yet.

"I would still like to be friends with her"

Again, that isn't NC, buddy.

You got to come to the realization its over. Done.

Did all of us forget to sat that? Done.

[vanheart]

Hold on. Let me take all of that back.

You can be friends with her forever. Go ahead.

As long as you don't want anything romantic. Hang out w/ her & her boyfriends.
Maybe listen to her boyfriend problems. Hang around.

Were you friends first? True friends. Real ones? Like your other really good friends.
The ones that don't split.

Unconditional ones?

[talaniman]

OK Gentlemen. First Off, I dont plan on never talking to her again and so I figured 6 weeks was a good moving on period and that is precisely what I did. Now the purpose of this post was just to get some opinions on what you think she is thinking. Not necessarily because I want to get back with her I am just confused and want some input from some ppl who may have had similar experiences. I would still like to be friends with her and am not trying to steal her back from this dude. and vanheart the meeting did go very well in fact. IM confused on where you inferred that it did not go well......

She is thinking she can keep you in her life as a friend, and have a boyfriend too. When he is busy, and she needs attention, she can call her friend, YOU.

Wonder how her boyfriend feels about her ex, that's now her friend, that takes her calls, and meets her for lunch?

Wonder how you would feel if your girlfriend that talked to, and called her ex anytime, and met him for lunch, coffee, or whatever.