[Shazia_khan]

I am the youngest of 3 children. Currently my mother lives with me as my husband is travelling most of the time and also my mother used to live with my older brother and then because my sister in law and her couldn't get along she basically moved out of their house and came to live with me. I am currently going to school full time and welcomed her help with my two kids. Everything was working fine until my school schedule became really hectic and so I am away from home till sometimes 8 at night. She cooks and takes care of the house and is home for when the kids come home. Kids go to school themselves and she supervises them and feeds them once they are back from school. As I have become more busy, I feel like my mother is becoming more demanding. Like she feel like I should be doing things for her even when I have hardly any time for myself or for my kids. Even though she lives with me she does not pay for any utilities so I feel like it is a mutual thing where she stays with me and takes care of my kids. But lately I feel like she is becoming more resentful and becoming more controlling in terms of doing whatever she wants in the house and expecting more from me when I don't have any time for myself.

[Kahani Punjab]

Respect and love are the first casuality, when someone takes your gratitude for granted and start controlling you, wrongly believing you to be helpless. Give and take - a business formula is the rule of the real life, as love-respect are up to some limit. Now you are a wife, with your own life, and you have your own onus, duty and all pressure, within which are you a divided lady. At this juncture, when a mother becomes too controlling, demanding and pressing, LOVE will obviously be the first casuality, and here you are correct, nice and goody-goody, of which your mother seems to be taking advantage.

Love her, respect her, as she is one, who brought you into this world, but as your life is getting disturbed because of her, (for which you can't sacrifice your own life) tell her about it in black and white. Nothing wrong in it, and do not feel a little - no, never - guilty about it. It is your right, and rather, if you do not do it, and just keep on feeling and resenting, it is bad for you, and is against mankind, at large, rather... as a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Do not be one! Do not take pity on you, rather take control of your life. Do not be rude to your mom, which you are never. But do not be a victim. I hope you got my point, and I also hope you will do it, and tick here - HELPFUL.

Good luck, Shazia Khan!

[talaniman]

Maybe it's the hectic times that makes you both on edge and taken for granted, but obviously she does a great deal to help your household, and as long as gratitude is your attitude, and respect are your actions, then you should be able to talk, and find ways to work together for the benefit of you all.

You both should be lucky to have each other, and maybe after this hectic time is worked through, maybe then things will get better. She is MOM, and is helping, never forget that, no matter how hectic it gets.

[vanheart]

There's a give & take here. Mutually. A decision, you've both made.

Don't take things for granted.

She is your Mom after all. Helping you.
Find a balance. Talk to her & figure out how you can live together.

Give love & respect. That's always my rule of thumb.
Maybe you aren't showing it.

She should also be grateful.