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    ranbir01's Avatar
    ranbir01 Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Oct 3, 2011, 02:54 PM
    I do not feel like any girl out there will love me. What should I do?
    Hi! I am from Delhi, India. I belongs to a Sikh family and 30 yrs old sardar guy. To be honest, I will rate myself average in my looks even some people says me I am quite handsome and have good personality. My parents and other siblings loves me a lot and I am the youngest in my family. I am very honest and kind-hearted person. I am simple and not of a type of cracking jokes every time and it takes me time to open with someone. The problem is that I have no girlfriend in my life. There are lots of girls who entered in my life but whenever I showed an interest in a girl, she just ignored my feelings and walked away from my life. Seven years ago, I proposed a girl, I madly fallen in love. But, she refused my proposal just by saying "I am not interested and my family also not allowed me". It was so difficult to propose, So I couldn't prepared to speak to her again and even she didn't. My heart was broken. Somehow, I set my mind 'there are other girls also and life does not ends here'. Two years later, I met another girl, and again I was rejected. Till now I have shared my feeling to four girls in the last 8 years. No girl likes me and loves me. I don't want to go with same story again and I stopped myself here. I don't want my love life to be a joke. It is not easy to find and propose to a girl of your dreams. My friends joking me and calls me gay. They say, even I am smart and good-looking, I don't have a girlfriend. I never felt a warmness, love, touch, or kiss from a girl. Some of my friend are cheating on their girlfriends, even then girls are happy with them. So why don't a girl understand my honesty and my true feelings. I am so depressed, quit my job, spending all time at home, don't like to go outside and do not want to live more. I want to die. But, I love my parents and my elder brother. It is all because of their love that I am still alive. But I want to die.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Oct 3, 2011, 04:33 PM
    Sorry guy, but looking for a wife and girlfriend is difficult, so make it easy on yourself, by just making female friends, the more the merrier, and have fun, then you pick one, but there is no hurry.

    Your problem has been in picking one, and being dissapointed when its easier to have fun before you propose, and if one isn't fun, don't be stuck, get another who is.

    Does your culture allow you to date many, but commit to (propose) NONE? I hope so. My experience has been when you build a life that makes you happy with family, friends, and activities you enjoy, you will find someone that wants to share your happiness with you.

    Rejection means nothing, keep trying with the next, and you don't have to wait two years. It occurs to me that maybe you only see a certain type of female as being worthy of your attentions. Could that be true?

    Stop looking for someone to propose to, and get to know them ALL, and have fun doing it.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #3

    Oct 3, 2011, 05:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ranbir01 View Post
    Hi! I am from Delhi, India. I belongs to a Sikh family and 30 yrs old sardar guy. To be honest, I will rate myself average in my looks even some people says me I am quite handsome and have good personality. My parents and other siblings loves me a lot and I am the youngest in my family. I am very honest and kind-hearted person. I am simple and not of a type of cracking jokes every time and it takes me time to open with someone. The problem is that I have no girlfriend in my life. There are lots of girls who entered in my life but whenever I showed an interest in a girl, she just ignored my feelings and walked away from my life. Seven years ago, I proposed a girl, I madly fallen in love. But, she refused my proposal just by saying "I am not interested and my family also not allowed me". It was so difficult to propose, So I couldn't prepared to speak to her again and even she didn't. My heart was broken. Somehow, I set my mind 'there are other girls also and life does not ends here'. Two years later, I met another girl, and again I was rejected. Till now I have shared my feeling to four girls in the last 8 years. No girl likes me and loves me. I don't want to go with same story again and I stopped myself here. I don't want my love life to be a joke. It is not easy to find and propose to a girl of your dreams. My friends joking me and calls me gay. They say, even I am smart and good-looking, I don't have a girlfriend. I never felt a warmness, love, touch, or kiss from a girl. Some of my friend are cheating on their girlfriends, even then girls are happy with them. So why don't a girl understand my honesty and my true feelings. I am so depressed, quit my job, spending all time at home, don't like to go outside and do not want to live more. I want to die. But, I love my parents and my elder brother. It is all because of their love that I am still alive. But I want to die.
    Feeling sorry for yourself will not help. Proposing to every girl that you come in contact with does not help. Like Tal said. What you need to do is go out and mingle and do not be so quick to propose. Have fun, enjoy company of others but do not make it only about proposing and commitment. You need to date, have fun, enjoy other people. Do not make it so serious and do not be in such a rush to get married. Your still very young and do make your life only about being with somebody. Your not going to find anybody by sitting at home. Your not going to be happy with anybody and no one will be happy with you until you learn how to be happy on your own first. Enjoy being single and go out and start to have fun. You will be surprised on what might happen. Sitting at home not being happy will not help you find anybody to be with.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #4

    Oct 3, 2011, 06:02 PM
    You want to die? Just because your finding it a little hard to get a girlfriend?
    What about your family? Oh I suppose they don't matter do they.

    You know trying to find the right women is hard! But it's even more hard trying to find her if your dead!
    So don't be a moron!


    You know what maybe you should try getting a better relationship with yourself before popping off and marring anyone

    Stop looking at other people to justify your existence. So you don't have a girlfriend
    It sucks yes but there are far worse things to be lacking in life my friend.
    ranbir01's Avatar
    ranbir01 Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #5

    Oct 4, 2011, 07:37 AM
    Thanks to all of you!

    @talaniman & JoeCanada76: Yes I can date many, but I want to be a single women person. I was not in a hurry, spent so long time with the first girl before I proposed. Once she also told me that she likes me very much before my proposal and I was damn sure she will accept me. Don't know what happened. Same with the other girls. I have also other female friends but I don't have same feelings for them. They are just friends. Now, I have completely stopped myself to look for and propose to a girl. I don't want to my heart gets broken again and again. And sure, your suggestions helps me a lot. First thing, I will keep try to get a good job and try to be happy at my own and with my family. But still, I can't stop me to think to commit suicide. I don't know why? Perhaps I am not able to forget my past.

    @trufaith: Yes, absolutely right! I want to die because... same as above. And my family, that's only the reason of being alive. I love them a lot and can do anything for them. But, I am not happy. And what can a person do when he is ignored by a person to whom he love more than his life. I think you can understand this. And yes, there are too many things lacking in a person's life. I have also too many but they have no such a importance because I can confident enough to achieve them. But, not confident to impress a girl! Actually, they like my company, spend time with me, like to go for shopping and movie with me, to chat on phone with me. But as it comes to commit to (propose) they are not interested anymore. AAAh.. I hate girls!

    And thanks again for your opinions and suggestions!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Oct 4, 2011, 11:38 AM
    Build a happy life, and when the right one comes along, then be a one woman man. Thoughts of dying, instead of trying makes NO SENSE being there are millions of females in New Delhi.

    You only had 4 females that showed potential in 8 years, MAN, that tells me you are not trying very hard or lacking some social skill in dealing with females. Maybe trying to meet a lot more, and make some more friends is what you need.

    4 out of millions?? REALLY, really?? Where is yourself confidence?
    ranbir01's Avatar
    ranbir01 Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Oct 5, 2011, 04:07 AM
    Yes, millions of heartless females!

    Thank you very much for your valuable suggestions and support. I will fight back to build a happy life... :(
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Oct 5, 2011, 10:50 AM
    There are all kinds of people in the world, good bad and all degrees of in between. The mature man finds out who he is dealing with before he gives them his heart, or sees if they know what to do with it once given.

    Doesn't matter the feelings, or attractions to them, you still have to get to know them before you pursue them. Maybe you make some bad choices in the ones you have feelings for, I don't know, but making better choices requires more FACTS, than feelings. Many of us have been so blinded by our feelings that we follow our hearts and ignore the things that say slow down, stop, retreat, or RUN, because the heart wants what it wants, and many things look good to the wanting heart. But they are not, and we are disappointed in the end, even hurt.

    But we can never give up on ourselves, or take the rejection by others as how we value ourselves, NEVER, so I respectfully submit to you to keep hunting, and enjoy the hunt, and some day you will get the prize, so have faith and confidence in yourself until that day comes, and prepare yourself by doing the best for yourself and being happy with yourself.

    Yourself worth, confidence, and strength should be based on the great things you do to take care of yourself, and be happy with yourself, NOT the rejections of 4 females in 8 years.

    Sheeeeesh guy, most fellows get more than that in an hour out on the town. 4 down 999, 996 to go, would be my attitude, and look forward to it.
    ranbir01's Avatar
    ranbir01 Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Oct 5, 2011, 01:11 PM
    talaniman, you are doing a great job! After this conversation, I am really feeling some positive vibrations in me. Going to start a new life with fun and happiness... :)

    Will see then, if got a chance in life to meet someone special in-between. Until the day, All girls S**KS!

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