[Mairin]

My son is now 26 years old. He's been living on his own since he was 20. I live one city block away from his place. I rarely ask him to do much for me as he usually ends up making excuses to get out of things. My mom recently had a stroke and was hospitalized for 2 months and is now in a Interim Nursing Home. She had been living with me for the past 2 years and I was taking care of her until this event.
My son just recently developed his first serious relationship with a female and she's moved into his place.
I don't call him often and now when I do she answers and honestly sounds somewhat annoyed that I'm calling for him. I leave messages and he doesn't call me back very often so I don't bother to call very much not to annoy them.
She helped him set up his new computer and now he can't email me and won't correct that problem either. I can send him stuff but he hasn't sent me anything although he knows about the problem.

I truly needed help moving some heavy items and for over 3 weeks he's told me that he'd be doing this and then that day comes and goes and he didn't get to it. I wouldn't have even asked if I honestly didn't need the help. He offers to help then doesn't and this has been going on for some time now.
I have even told him that it's actually cheaper for me to take a cab to run errands since I pay far less to them than his girlfriend in the end and I'm not rushed or on her schedule to boot, when she can get around to it.
The only time he will bother with me is if I am feeding them or giving them something or doing something for them. They pull eat and runs.

This really got to me as I honestly feel very disrespected and I could see it if I was bothering them all the time or asking for things all the time but I simply don't.

My son drops on a dime to do things for her and her family and their friends but I'm a very different story.

Today I decided to tell him not to bother with me anymore what so ever if I have to pay for nothing but this it's not worth it. It really hurts me but that's honestly how I feel, used up.

I'm angry since during my mom's stroke I had to drop and run to move his girlfriend and boy was I pooped out and the extreme mess of her place was not an easy task. He was complaining to me about this and I informed him that my own place needed cleaning and I'm taking my time to do stuff for them and this was just awful, rotten food and bugs everywhere. He was angry about this then moved her in and now won't hardly talk to me.

Does anyone out there think I will ever have any kind of relationship with my son in the future?

[JoeCanada76]

You need to realize that he has his own things to do and his own life to live.

You as a parent. Need to show that you love him unconditionally. That is all.

Joe

[ordinaryguy]

Children, especially young adult age children, can sometimes be quite inconsiderate and take their parents for granted. Try not to take it too personally and get resentful about it, though I know it's hard not to. My advice would be to back way off for awhile and don't ask your son and his girlfriend for anything. Also, don't offer to do things for them, and if they ask, don't drop everything and do it. Go on about your life and try not to dwell on him or your relationship. He'll come around eventually, but needs to do it in his own time and on his own terms.

[talaniman]

OG nailed it, back off and do your own thing without them for now, as he builds a life. Enjoy your freedom while you can.

[Fr_Chuck]

He does not want much to do with you for some reason, sad but not uncommom. There is nothing you can really do expect still love him and let him do what he wants ( since he will anyway) trying to force him will only push him away more.

[Teaching]

Pushing and forcing relationships don't work, it has to come from within - trust me. I believe we push people away when we force ourselves on them.