Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    lalo_007's Avatar
    lalo_007 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 30, 2011, 08:46 AM
    I want more than being friends with benefits, what can I do?
    Me and this guy have so much fun together, just don't understand why wouldn't he want something with me. He said he was ready for a relationship a few months back but the lady hurt him. Now I'm stuck on wanting something that just feels like its not going anywhere. I'm hurt, I have so much to offer and he is a great guy. When we spend time together everything seems right. We text each other every day. Sex is the best he says.. Can someone help me.. I'm about to just let go of the sex part and be friends.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 30, 2011, 09:13 AM
    Your thinking is on the right track. Stop having sex and put your effort into building a relationship, an emotional connection.

    If you need support for and help with that, please post again.
    0rphan's Avatar
    0rphan Posts: 1,282, Reputation: 240
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Sep 30, 2011, 09:22 AM
    Hi,lalo

    I think you and this guy have a good thing going at the moment.I can't see how you can just go back to being friends.Once sex is brought into it, there is no going back to just friends,you'll loose him altogether.

    The reason that it works so well right now is because he feels that there is no pressure,he can enjoy your company, your time together and the sexual side as well.He can be totally himself,knowing that you are aware of this.

    The problem you have now, is the fact that your feelings have obviously changed towards him,so now you want more.It could be that he feels the same,however for now, would prefer to keep it to himself.


    The way I see it is you have three choices here;

    1)You can tell him how you feel and what your hopes and dreams are for the future.. by doing this you may scare him off and loose him forever.

    2)You can remain quiet,carry on with the current situation hoping that things between you will develop naturally,you fall in love with each other, both of you have a happy ending.

    3)You can also,finish with him completely now, and look for somebody else who wishes to committ to a full on relationship.

    Personally Lalo,I would opt for number 2,you have nothing to loose,your still having a great time, plus the sexual side is also brilliant, with a guy you care for and there's a good chance that it may lead to something more.



    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 30, 2011, 03:12 PM
    To late to be just friends without the benefits. But not to late to tell him the truth about what you want from him, and be ready to cut him loose if he can't get with it.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Oct 2, 2011, 04:57 PM
    " just don't understand why wouldn't he want something with me"

    He doesn't. Just sex.

    "Now I'm stuck on wanting something that just feels like its not going anywhere"

    Don't be stuck. Use your gut. You've just said it.

    He doesn't really want what you want, there's no long run for him.
    FWB, remember?

    Hookup when..

    Either enjoy being FWB or split. Can't have both.
    That's the whole point.

    Don't force it.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Friends With Benefits? [ 17 Answers ]

Hello (: first. Thanks for reading. I'm 13. I started talking to this guy that goes to my church. Named Walker. So anyway. I sort of had a crush on him liked him... ive known him for about 6 months. Turns out he says he likes me. It's kind of hard to believe though because he's 15. Well we both...

Just friends with benefits. For now [ 4 Answers ]

Hey everyone, I need some advice. Here's my situation: I'm graduating 8th grade and there's this boy that I went to the 8th grade dinner dance with. We have both liked each other a lot for a while now (like almost 2 years.) but the problem is we both can't date right now. He knows for sure he...

Friends with benefits [ 12 Answers ]

X and I broke up about six months ago after being together three yrs and living with each other for 2. Wasn't a bad break up and have still been good friends. She jumped in anotherr relationship after ours and just broke it off with him. Anywayz... she asked me if I wanted to be friends with...

Friends with benefits [ 4 Answers ]

How can a person maintain the friends with benefits connection when you really only became friends just before becoming friends with benefits? I had this experience and I think my anxiety chased him away. I really wanted to meet up again at least once but in calling I must have sounded like I...


View more questions Search