[hazelm616]

I have been with my boyfriend for about six months and we didn't have sex a lot but we done it at least once a week I am 21 he is 37 and for the past 3weeks he stopped coming near me in the bedroom and in the day time I have spoke to him about this and he says he just does not want it at the time and he has no problems down there you can see that for yourself in the mornings but I have a high sex drive and we argue all the time because I feel I need more I love him with all my heart and have tried to understand but it is difficult as he was never like this to start with he wanted me to give him it 6times a day but I was pregnant at the time and didn't want to over do it but no we have no sex life at all please someone help am losing my mind over this

[Cat1864]

Have you had your baby and been cleared by your doctor for resuming sexual activity? Does he live with you? Does he help take care of/support the baby?

There can be several reasons for a drop in libido.

If you have a newborn in the house, he may be worried about distractions.

There is the stress of providing for and caring for a baby and household can cause a slow down in sexual activity.

Fear of pregnancy especially just after the birth of child is major reason for people to not want sex.

He could be one of many men who have a problem adjusting to seeing their lover as a mother.

Does he have any health issues or is he taking any medications? Does he self-medicate with alcohol or other drugs?

Is he under a lot of stress with work, family, friends, the relationship, school, etc. Is he tired?

He may have a lower libido than you do. It may not have been as obvious due to new relationship lust and not having to be concerned about pregnancy.

One of the major factors is pressure to have sex. All of the above and even more factors can be the initial cause of the slow down, but pressure (internally and/or externally) can make the problem(s) worse.

How do you try to talk to him about the subject? When he says he isn't in the mood, how do you react? Do you back off and take care of your own needs or do you get upset, make accusations, or beg?

I am concerned that you began this relationship when your hormones were/are in an upheaval and you were at a very vulnerable time. Are the two of you compatible outside of the bedroom? How is the rest of your relationship? Do you show affection or intimacy in other ways than sexual ones?

I think you both need to sit down and calmly discuss the issues and the relationship. Make certain you have the same expectations for the relationship.

[hazelm616]

I had twins 4months ago he is not there real dad but he took them in as his own he loves looking after them he takes one and I take the other rather than us having to get up at night for both of them and yes he lives with me and yes he takes medication but that never stops him he will have his condition for the rest of his life he is never tierd we get plenty sleep and the twins are no problem to deal with at all I have spoke to him about it but he just shakes it off as nothing and yes I buy him what ever he needs make him dinner and run him nice hot baths when he gets headaches and when he says he does not want it I say OK cuddle into him and fall asleep I don't want to argue with him so I leave him be I don't want to stress him out ether I have tried everything but nothing works I dress up for him a play with him but still he just pushes me away.