[bigdaddy777]

Here's my situation, I've been dating this girl for 4 months and everythings been good, she has a VERY rough past. I've accepted her past though and moved on. But I'm finding out certain things. She isn't quite hiding them from me, but neglecting to mention. I put up with a lot but its like she tells my brother more than she tells me because of some of the things she's done. She says she's afraid she'll lose me. But I feel like a chump right now and its got me heated over it all. All the things I've looked past for her and it doesn't seem like she's being real with me. What should I do?

[I wish]

She's obviously fighting a lot of demons and isn't sure how to approach you with them. She really needs to get them off her chest, but for now, she's bouncing them off someone else.

If you really care about her, then do your best to let her know that she can come to you with anything and that you will be there to support her.

Let her know that the past is the past and what's important is that she learns from the past so that she can have a better future.

[1confused1]

Tell her you care about her, but if she keeps neglecting to tell you things THAT is going to be the reason she'll lose you. Assure her that you care about her and the things in her past don't really matter to you because they are in her past (if that is how you truly feel.) Neglecting to tell you things that she tells other is basically the same thing as lying. Tell her you need honesty and trust in the relationship and if she is unwilling to do that it will cause problems in the future not the things done in the past.

[Fr_Chuck]

First her past is just that her past, you should not care and you should be accepting her for who she is now.

You can tell her that when she is telling your brother it is getting back to you and you would rather she tell you directly if she needs to talk about it.