[kittykatmeows]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. Up until he started work at a job he hates our sex life has been fairly normal. Since starting this job his libido has dropped considerably. Sex is only an option when he wants it. I did however find that he looks at porn and jerks off to it. The last few days he has been saying we are "overdue" for sex. It didn't happen and I became upset. We had a fight about it. After the fight he jerked off in the bedroom after saying no to sex with me. I am totally confused by this. I am starting to think its me. He said he jerked off to prove to himself he could. Is that bull****?

[QLP]

He sounds totally stressed out about both his job and the effect it is having on his sex drive. Masturbating is a totally different scenario to having sex with someone else. No pressure to perform - just a way to try and relieve some of that stress I would guess. The fact that he told you he did it to prove to himself he could suggests he has performance anxiety. Doesn't sound to me like it has anything to do with his feelings for you; it's his feelings for himself that are causing him so much angst.

Try to be patient and give him some support while he figures out whether he can adjust to the new job, or needs to cut his losses and look for a new one, would be my advice.