[wsj17]

I've only been with my boyfriend a short time (about 5 months) and lately the sex has been dwindling down. It's not like we had sex like bunny rabbits to begin with but it was pretty much twice a day to maybe once every other day. We definitely were sexual with each other. But lately it seems like not only has he not wanted sex as much but he's even become less affectionate. He doesn't kiss me as often, or I have to kiss him first. He used to say such sweet things to me and now he only does when he's drunk. After realizing he wasn't going to innitiate sex I tried to on two separate occasions and he's brushed me away like he didn't want to. I talked to him a little bit about my concerns and we finally had sex the following morning. However he never even came and as soon as we were done he said "Happy now?", not in a mean way but still enough to make me feel like crap. I'm not going to lie I'm a very attractive female and its not like we're married to where sex might become less of a priority. He's in his early 30's and I'm in my early 20's so I don't know if his age has anything to do with it. He's not gay whatsoever. I don't "think" he would cheat on me. I just don't understand what is going on. It's making me feel horrible about myself as a woman. So should I be worried about this? Or what should I do?

[Jake2008]

You have to, at the very least, be able to talk to each other. Him losing his sexual appetite, is only the result of something else.

He may not be comfortable with the relationship overall, he may be dealing with a lot of stress, he could be feeling pressure to 'perform'. He could be pulling away from you intimately because under the surface, he is unhappy- for a reason you do not yet know.

In other words, it isn't about the sex, or lack of.

You are taking his disinterest personally, naturally, and are not yet seeing there are reasons he has become this way.

By making sex the main focus as the reason he is keeping his distance, only puts pressure on him, and in so doing, the last thing he'll want to do is have sex.

Dig a little deeper, stop complaining, go about your relationship in a positive way, letting him have a little space to realize that he can talk to you without being blamed for something he is just not able to deal with at the moment. Him suddenly becoming interested in sex just to keep the peace, will not solve the problem.

It is the 'why' part of no intimacy, not the intimacy itself, that needs to be addressed, in a non threatening, mature way, with no pressure.

Give him the space he needs, without making him think that he has to have sex to keep you quiet. There is much, much more to this.

[talaniman]

The lust has worn off, and if you want to grow the love, its through talking about other areas of the relationship, or circumstances that have nothing to do with lust, attraction, or sex.

There are other things going on besides a lack of sex. That's just a symptom of a greater problem in the relationship that needs addressing.

[Rhyme4NoReason]

Hahaha I laugh because I was in the exact situation. 30... ugh, everything just goes
Downhill for men at that age. They think about financial stability, families,
Having kids... somewhere FAR from where someone like myself in the early
20s was even thinking about. Maybe he's just too stressed with work to even think
About sex. At that age, I believe they think that 'Sex isn't everything' haha actually
My ex said that to me one time. I was so confused.

If you need to have sex, and you don't like the sex aspect of your relationship, try spicing things up, and if that doesn't work then you're going to have to make a decision and weigh what's more important... sexual satisfaction or your relationship with him.