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New Member
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Sep 16, 2011, 11:15 PM
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Orgasims, how?
I am a 29 year old female and I have yet to have an orgasm! It freaking sucks! I am a master at faking. There's a good chance I would earn an emmy for my performances. I'm tired of faking. I want the real thing. Please help me, help myself get me to the next level! What can I do (before I'm 30)?
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Uber Member
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Sep 16, 2011, 11:20 PM
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Well first step is to stop faking them.
The faking is making it seem like your satisfied so then your partner will think they are doing a good job without any improvement.
It takes lots of time, lots of foreplay and patience.
Whoever your with, no more faking. You have to experiment with what things makes you come close enough and teach your partner what to do. That will be the only way to get it to change for the better.
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Marriage Expert
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Sep 17, 2011, 12:13 AM
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Just to clarify, do you mean you have never had an orgasm even through masturbation or that you haven't had one with a partner? Do you come close or nothing at all?
Jesushelper is correct. Stop faking. It doesn't help you or them.
One thing to remember is that for women orgasm starts in the brain. If you aren't aroused and mentally stimulated, then your body won't be either. Limit distractions whether they come from internal or external sources. Learn to let the pressure to have an orgasm go. Make certain you are enjoying the journey.
The journey begins long before you ever get your clothes off or anywhere near a bed. Anticipation of what you plan to do later and how good it feels are a part of foreplay. They help you feel sexy and in the mood.
Erotica and masturbation can help you learn what really turns you on. Don't worry if your tastes are what many would call 'kinky'.
If you haven't before, you might want to try adult toys such as vibrators. You can use them alone and with a partner. Many women need the extra stimulation during intercourse. It isn't about how a good a lover is, but the way the female body is built. Our main physical erogenous zone, the clitoris, isn't always in the best place to get proper stimulation.
For some women, there is a fear of letting go. An orgasm does feel good but it is also very scary. Trusting your partner to keep you safe when you are at a vulnerable point is a big help in getting over the edge.
You might also want to talk to your gynecologist and make certain everything is in proper working order. Some women can have medical issues that prevent them from being physically stimulated.
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Junior Member
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Sep 17, 2011, 08:11 AM
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In my opinion, the most important thing in order to reach the ultimate sexual pleasure is your partner.
You must really want the person you're with. Not just like him. I mean really REALLY want him. Desire him with all of your senses. That's because stimulation starts from the brain.
Plus, there has to be chemistry between the couple, not everyone is right for anyone. Maybe the fact that you didn't have a real orgasm yet is because you didn't find the right person.
Another thing, is that there must be communication in sex. Don't be afraid to ask for things or correct your partner during intercourse. Most people expect their partners to read their minds and do all the right things by themselves but sometimes a little guidance is needed.
Plus, letting go is very important in order to achieve an orgasm. You shouldn't worry about reaching your climax during sex. Actually, you shouldn't think of anything during sex. You just need to let go and focus of what is taking place at that specific moment.
Of course, all of the above will work if there's nothing physically related that keeps you from having an orgasm. So, as Cat1864 already suggested, you probably have to visit your gynecologist first.
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