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Kristen00 · Sep 15, 2011, 02:49 AM

I'm 21 years old, I'm 5'5" and I'm 120 pounds. I have nice legs and a shapely butt. I get hit on a pretty good amount. I have a great boyfriend. However, I feel adequate. I feel like less of a woman. I feel this way because I have small breasts.

I was 140 pounds and had a B cup, but I lost twenty pounds, and as a result am now back down to an A-cup. A lot of people call me skinny and say I look great now and all of that, but I still feel so insecure. My boyfriend has always sworn to me that "big boobs" aren't really his thing, that he thinks I look perfect and would never want me to change. He almost seems to take offense to the mere idea of me getting a breast augmentation, because he likes me the way I am.

However, I was using his computer tonight when I got the bad idea of just checking his history. I know he watches porn now and again, but I was suddenly curious to see what kinds of things he is attracted to. To my dismay, his hits were mostly along the lines of "Big Tits" videos. It felt like such a slap in the face. I try to be the cool girlfriend, and acknowledge that he watches porn (he is a guy, after all), but seeing that he specifically looks for videos of girls with huge boobs to jack off to, really deeply bothers me. After six months of being pretty comfortable around him, I suddenly don't even want to take my bra off around him anymore. I do not look like those girls, and I never will.

It is just not physically possible for me to meet ALL the "ideal woman" criteria... Small legs, arms, and waist, but large breasts and a nice full but firm backside. The fat deposits on my body don't just magically collect in places a man would desire. Besides my height being average, I'm a small girl, and don't feel I can be expected to have large anything else. I suppose I'm just feeling sad, and very bad about myself now, and not sure how to feel about having a boyfriend with a closet "big tit" obsession when I will never have them. :/ Help?

Synnen · Sep 15, 2011, 05:49 AM

Learn to love what you have.

I have "big tits"---38DDD. I'd trade you for those A cups in a HEARTBEAT.

Those videos are often augmented--or the boobs are. Natural ones start to sag as you age, and you NEED the support from a bra ALWAYS (sagging or not, it HURTS to not have the support). I can't wear cute dresses. I can't wear loose tops (they make me look pregnant). I have to have all of my suits tailored for me because what fits in the waist doesn't come close to closing over my boobs, and what fits my boobs makes me look like I'm a little kid playing dress up over the rest of me.

Look, you have to realize that looking is looking, and your boyfriend DOES like you the way you are. When I look at porn, I'm not looking for guys that look like my husband. I'm looking for guys with a 6 pack and a tan. Has NOTHING to do with loving my husband the way he is. It has everything to do with just looking at something different occasionally.

You need to gain some self-confidence and realize that your boobs are not what a mature guy cares about in a relationship. Yeah, some guys have a preference for large ones. Some guys have a preference for women who are tall, too--and that doesn't make me feel inferior to be 5'4" short.

Love who you ARE. Your confidence in that will be sexier than any cup size ever could be.

Cat1864 · Sep 15, 2011, 07:07 AM

I agree with Synnen about being confident in who you are and what you look like. Love yourself. If you find yourself sexy, it will show.

Maybe this will give you a different perspective on his viewing habits:

So your boyfriend looks at porn featuring large breasted women to masturbate. It means he is using porn as a masturbatory aid otherwise known as a sex toy. Sex toys are usually used to help one achieve climax quicker and with less energy than having sex with a partner (plus one doesn't have to think about the other person's needs.) This means he is not viewing the women in the videos/pictures as lovers but a means to an end. They are a part of the 'toy'. I don't know about you, but I see no reason to compare myself to a blow-up doll. It would be like him comparing himself to a vibrator. With some of the vibrators on the market, it is a very comical thought.

The point is he makes love to you. He cares about your needs (including trying to help you feel more secure about yourself) and desires. He works with you to build a relationship that includes more than a quick orgasm. He wants you in his arms and bed.

JoeCanada76 · Sep 15, 2011, 07:17 AM

I will never understand why some women will compare themselves to women who are fantasy and not real to the guy.

He is with you. He has told you he loves you the way you are. That your breasts are beautiful. What else do you need.

You being happy with your natural self is important regardless of what anybody thinks but to base your unhappiness or things on which your boyfriend may look at is not realistic.

Joe

excon · Sep 15, 2011, 07:19 AM

Hello K:

Personally, I LIKE small breasts.

excon

Fr_Chuck · Sep 15, 2011, 09:58 AM

My wife got hers reduced ( it goes both ways)

Next men watch porn, does not mean he does not like you, it means he likes to watch naked people having sex.

If you actually look at the real models, not TV swim suit models, you will see that runway clothes models are all A and B cups normally 32 to 34.

smoothy · Sep 15, 2011, 10:14 AM

I'm a guy... I like them all sizes, from really big to really small, as long as they are natural (I won't even watch porn with what appears to be fake boobs on the women). Each size has it's advantages and disadvantages.

I married a tiny woman (less than 5 feet tall), with A cups, and 100 lbs. I'm happy even though I still like big ones too.

Look at the advantages, you can go without a bra if you want... your back won't hurt before the end of the day. You can sleep on your stomach is you want, they are easier to pay proper attention to since the homestead isn't all that big.

Plus on a petite or thin woman they still look good. Its about porportion.

Besides... boobs don't make the woman... the woman, makes the woman.

QLP · Sep 15, 2011, 05:40 PM

I'm a woman. I'm not turned on by porn. However, there are all sorts of books and films that I find incredibly erotic. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't in real life though. What we find erotic in a fantasy is often very different to what we want in reality.

I have to confess, and the regulars can feel free to chortle here, that I have a thing about vampires. In books. On film. I have no desire to be married to one nor to go around pretending to be one. Although I gather that floats some people's boats.

We are complicated creatures, and the point I'm trying to make is that what your guy enjoys in the porn department probably has little bearing on what he wants in his life and in his bed.

He loves all of you. Now you do the same. Please.

Okay now I'm going to be dreaming about 'Eric' from 'True Blood'...

twinkiedooter · Sep 16, 2011, 05:13 PM

When I was 21 I had a B cup. Then I had a kid and my cup size zoomed to a D cup. You are still young, so just wait until you have a few kids, yours will change to a bigger cup. Don't fret the small stuff now as things and people's bodies change with time.

J_9 · Sep 16, 2011, 06:08 PM

Confidence isn't found in your bra, it's in your brain.

Be thankful that you can wear shirts of any size. Some gals with large breasts can't. Be thankful that you don't have daily backaches or headaches, gals with large breasts do.

Having large pendulous breasts can be a hindrance in many aspects of daily life.

twinkiedooter · Sep 16, 2011, 07:11 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

Confidence isn't found in your bra, it's in your brain.

Be thankful that you can wear shirts of any size. Some gals with large breasts can't. Be thankful that you don't have daily backaches or headaches, gals with large breasts do.

Having large pendulous breasts can be a hindrance in many aspects of daily life.

Hard to sunbathe on your font, hard on the shoulders with bra straps digging into the shoulders, and wearing tight fitting sweaters without the sweater being stretched out of shape in the boob area. Definite disadvantages, trust me.

DaniCalifornia · Oct 2, 2011, 07:03 AM

Oh sweetheart. All women are insecure about something!

I'll add my two cents:

Your boyfriend loves you. Porn is completely different to real life, and all decent blokes are aware of this. There is no such thing as the perfect breasts, bum, or vulva. It's YOU they love!

I, myself occasionally watch lesbian porn. This doesn't mean I am a lesbian, nor does it mean I want my boyfriend to grow boobs! And It's not abnormal, just an escape from reality.

Your boyfriend is telling the truth when he says he doesn't want you to change. Why would he look at porn of so called "Small breasted" women, when he's got a gorgeous one right there?

P.S: I have fairly big breasts for my slim self, and it aches my back daily!

X Dani