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karthik23 · Sep 9, 2011, 01:16 PM

I am in love with a girl for the last one year. I loved her a lot. But now a days things are going crazy. The reason is her character does not matches with mine. She still loves me. But she seems to be very selfish and does not care about my happiness. I feel that I will not be happy in my life if I marry her. But what makes me not to break up with her is we had sex twice. So I feel guilty to break up with and marry some other girl.

Please someone tell me what I feel is correct or Is it OK to break up with her and marry some other girl?

ken007nielsen · Sep 9, 2011, 01:40 PM

Don't stay in a relationship out of guilt, that would never work out.

Have you tried talking to her about your concerns? She may not know that you find her selfish.

talaniman · Sep 9, 2011, 02:35 PM

Stop having sex, and tell her why. The truth.

karthik23 · Sep 10, 2011, 11:42 AM

Thanks for your reply Talaniman and Ken.
Yes I spoke with her about my concerns. When I talk to her she says she loves me lot but I am not seeing tat love in her behavior. The following are some situations where I felt very bad about her:
*I use to talk with her over the phone for a long time. Once I fell sick and was not able to ring her up. Then when she called me I said my situation but she did'nt care about my sickness and fought with me for the reason I did'nt call her.
*On her birthday I gave her a gift and treated her in good hotel. She was very happy, but the very next week she askes me to buy something she wanted. As I was in a bad financial situation I said that I'll get that next month. For that she spoke very bad at me and compalined about my job and insulted me that it would not be enough to run our family.
*Whatever I do with all my love is not satisfying her at all, always she wants more and more.

BK201 · Sep 10, 2011, 11:54 AM

So, looks like she fails to see what you are going through. And its evident that you DO love her, but you are worried a lot that it won't work out if things are going like this.
Yes, you are correct.
Buy her time, sit with her, and tell her about all these situations, one by one. Tell her that you are not happy with how things are going. Tell her that you are even thinking about breaking up because of her behavior, but you also feel guilty. Now, give her time, say a week or so. See if there is any change. If no, say a good bye.. it's the best for the both of you.

JoeCanada76 · Sep 10, 2011, 10:16 PM

It sounds like your not going to be happy with her. It honestly does not sound like much of a match. Sounds like she wants security and money from a guy and that is pretty much it.

That is just going by what you wrote. Do not feel guilty about breaking up.

ineedhelplease · Sep 11, 2011, 02:51 PM

Definitely stop having sex with her, talk to her. Tell her why you think you two don't click. If its something that can change and she's willing to do it because you both love each other so much as you said, then if it feels right great

If it does not feel right, don't stay. Don't waste your time , and hers.

vanheart · Sep 11, 2011, 05:05 PM

Not everyone is meant to be together. That's OK.

If her actions aren't matching her words, then use your gut.

Don't have sex with her, maybe disappear for a while, sort things out in your head.

Don't stay w/someone just for convenience, or jollies.

Sounds like the abuse & frustration isn't worth the physical pleasure.

I don't think either one of you are ready for anything serious.