[ducar]

My fiancée kissed a guy recently (June) who was getting out of the military and moving back to his home state.. it was just a goodbye kiss as he was emotional.. peck on the lips... I then arrived on our ritual monthly meeting(we are living states apart whilst she finishes her military career...
I found this out after I seen texts of I miss you I love you and pictures... this was a month later... she told me she wanted me... never him..
Now 2 months later again after dropping him on text email and Facebook when I requested it I find she is still texting and I love you's everywhere... she doesn't know I know and refused to show me a recent text when I said I doubted her... tonight she dropped the bomb and said that she feels that we are drifting and she cannot trust me not to check her phone in the future... am I stupid to think we can go on... we've been together for 2 years and the long distance finally has taken its toll.. I have been loyal and would never cheat.. I talk about the future which she dismisses as she has options to get a good career.. I have a great career and I'm financially secure... what do I do... I want her so bad and want her to want me... what question do I ask her without letting her know what I know... I can forgive,forget but not doubt for the rest of my life...

[odinn7]

Seriously, if you're doubting her now, you will always doubt her. Not that I condone "spying" and such but the fact that you have done it, and that you have found her telling someone else she loves him... well, add that to the fact that she's giving you the "drifting apart" speech. On top of that, long distance relationships seldom work out for the best.

Also, you say you can forgive and forget. Actually, no you can't. You may be able to forgive, but you'll never forget and that will always be in the back of your mind. My first wife cheated on me... it was a mistake, she'll never do it again, blah-blah-blah. I was young, stupid, and I loved her so I forgave her. I took her back and proceeded to live in hell for the next 1 1/2 years in which I discovered that she was cheating with anyone that would pay attention to her. I'm not saying this girl will do that to you for sure, but I'm saying that it's likely and even if it doesn't happen, you will be thinking about it.

Save yourself the pain and agony that you are setting yourself up for. End this now and walk away. It may be hard for you to do but you will be so much better off in the long run. Trust me.

[jg1986]

I understand but as you say its very hard... I know she is pushing me to decide perhaps because she doesn't want to feel the guilt of leaving me... I want her to admit it, that she wants to leave and tell me what actually happened... I know telling her I read the recent texts will finish it forever but I feel that she will have then got the upper hand and I will be the one who cheated not trusting her... perhaps it's a pride thing or complete stupidity... I have been up all night...

She told me to speak to my sister and tell her everything as she knows I confide in my sis... why would she do that except to know that my sister will be pissed and tell me to finish and say I deserve better... I am at the end of my tether... this hurts...

I have to sppeak to her later... I have a vooked trip for colombus day to see each other... maybe by then she will realize her errors and want me badly... should I wait till we see each other and ride this month on the phone...

[odinn7]

I've already told you what I'm going to tell you... you're better off without her. Cut your losses and walk away. If you can't do that (for whatever reason) then I wish you the best of luck in the future.

[talaniman]

I had to read this twice, because she doesn't trust you at all, and rightfully so, and you don't trust her, because she is going behind your back with someone you insisted she not. Now like a cop you want a confession, to feel better. Forget all this emotional drama. Where there is no trust, only secrecy, and manipulations for personal feel good, nor honesty between partners, there is no relationship. NONE. Until trust and honesty can make there way into this, it's a perfect waste of time and a soap opera.

Sorry, but this was falling fast when you got jealous, and requested she stop emailing, and texting this fellow, and to continue in this manner is unhealthy. If you cannot communicate honestly, why keep this charade of love going?