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Confused3909 · Sep 4, 2011, 11:43 PM

I Have been with the same guy for about 3 years and we are high school sweethearts and all that mushy stuff, I lost my Virginity to him and vice versa, and I honestly do feel like he is without a doubt the guy I want to marry. He does(wheveer we are doing good) Treat me so good, makes me feel loved and does sweet things. But when we aren't good WE Aren't GOOD, Ya know. We have NEVER broken up nor taken a "break" Because that honestly DOES NOT fix anything. There are times I wonder if Sex keeps us together(even when I know its not) and I just want to cry. All relationships are lovely dovey at first and then soon fade because you get more comfortable around each other and stuff and I understand that but I really want to know how you keep some of it, How you make a guy understand what you want and how you want it without him getting all defensive...

Well Here is my shhpeeelll...

I have never been a jealous person but with him I get really jealous. Not like Crazy Psycho stuff, but like mad when he breaks a special promise he made to me. We both have Face books and at the begginging and towards the middle we made a promise to for him(not add girls, message, them) And for me(same but with boys)And that was only because before we started dating he was a "Player" And had a new girlfriend like every other week so he always was like making girls feel worthless and stuff and when he said "Your different" I kind a wanted him to prove it and yeah there is more to the story but I'm not writing a novel.. So it was good, And it was a very mutual thing. And guess what? It HELPED SO MUCH! We are always together, We have a great time together, We share SO MANY similar values and beliefs, His mom loves me, my parents love him, were content.. One Problem, He recently has been adding a few girls and I really wonder why? Ive had a bad gut feeling like maybe it wasn't so innocent but I don't know what or how to find out what is going on in his stubborn damn head! After so long, Why would you break something that I have never broken, never even crossed my mind.. He says its just because he wants to "see who they are" Because they look familiar but like come on, who cares? I don't add guys who look familiar.. I guess it kind a just makes me mad because since I respect him so so much and I wouldn't do anything to hurt him or make him upset and then I'm kind a slapped in the face by that.. I mean I wonder if there is more to him adding the few girls he has.. Should I be worried? How can I not be so jealous? How can I know that I know that I know that he is 100 percent dedicated to me like he says he is.. How can I know that I'm not just wasting my time? I don't believe in pay back at all but I honestly want to give him a taste of his own medicine but I can't find it in me to disrespect him and break a "promise" Bc promises mean EVERYTHING to me... HELP PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!I don't want to loose him, but I don't want to be hurt over and over.. Its honestly so complicated since I love him so much and I don't think he is cheating nor do I think he will but I need help on what to do, because I don't want to be disrespectful towards him but I don't want him thinking its okay and that ill get over it so that he can do it again..

Confused3909 · Sep 5, 2011, 12:05 AM

Please say at least something if you read this! Anything intellegent will help.

J_9 · Sep 5, 2011, 12:13 AM

Confused, please be patient. This is an international site. We are all volunteers. The folks who may be able to help you may be asleep or at work at the moment.

Confused3909 · Sep 5, 2011, 12:19 AM

J9- I am, I meant to post that at the end of my question but didn't so I just posted it as an answer. Lol

BK201 · Sep 5, 2011, 04:33 AM

Im glad that you have not taken the "taste of your own medicine" path.
If not for the mutual agreement you both have made, I would have voted for him. But, you both have agreed to something and he has broken it. So, this might be a beginning of taking things for granted. Unless there is some consequence for breaking a promise, I don't think he will give you a proper reason or stop what he is doing.
Is he adding random strangers or people whom he already know?

Confused3909 · Sep 5, 2011, 10:49 AM

BK201- "People that look familiar" So I mean I guess complete strangers, and then he added one girl that he knew but never talks to so I don't know I'm going to stick to strangers. I have given him consequences, and he is very apologetic and understsands that if I was to do that he would be so mad and the relationship would be close to over, but I still just don't think that is enough.. Thank you so much for yout input, honestly I've been waiting for someone smart and sensible to answer this.. And thanks for being on my side. I know people are like "what, yall should have freedom" But I feel like if your as in love as you say you are to one another 1 friend request or text to and from a girl is just unneccasary.. and if you want to be with me forever than respect and follow through with small promises so I know that the BIG promises won't be broken later on in life..