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monsterniki · Sep 4, 2011, 11:28 AM

I know that you are suppose to cover for your siblings but when is it time for them to grow up? You see my dad is this stict kind of fathers and well being a girl doesn't make it easier. Well I am 19 and I have a full time job and I help with bills and everything I can. My sister is 20 "temporarily" taking a break from school, works at Macy's ( but called out so muchthat they aren't giving her the hours she use to get), and goes in and out as she pleases. I understand that she is 20 and that she is old enough to live her life, but since we both live under my father's roof we have rules to follow. We have a curfew and we still have to ask to go out. For about a month now my sister has been going to the "gym" around 6 and coming home by 12:30/1 in the morning. My dad doesn't want anyone disrespecting the house so he knew something was up and all I knew was that she was working out. One day she left the house around 2 pm and around 12 am my dad calls her to see if she is ohkay and she claims she was almost home but didn't get home till 2:30am so he punished her. Two days after he gives her another chance and gives her till 11 to get home but she gets home at 11:30. He was mad only because she disrespected his word. I told her she was late, she claims she had till 11:30 when clearly everyone in the room hear 11. My dad asked me what time he said I said 11.So now I am getting **** from my sister only because I didn't cover for her. I have always covered for her and had been stuck with 10 drunk guys alone... only because she didn't know where to drop me off when her boyfriend called. My point is that she is 20 why can't she ust call my dad saying I'm going to be late instead of beating around the bushes and putting me into positions that I don't want to be in. Am I wrong for being tired of being taken advantage of? I help her financially paying off her loan and when I don't cover for her once I am the bad one...

hauntinghelper · Sep 4, 2011, 11:39 AM

Are you wrong? No. You are correct, if you are under your parents roof... no matter the age, it is by their rules. He does sound strict, but it is still his house. Your sister needs to understand that if she does not like how things are run there, she needs to leave... because by acting the way she is, she is disrespecting him and also putting you in a bad spot... and may I mention that leaving you with a bunch of drunk guys goes BEYOND irresponsible. It seems like you have a good head on your shoulders and she does not. Don't let her give you a guilt trip.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 4, 2011, 12:51 PM

She is taking advantage of you and your father. She is acting more like a 14 year old than a 20 year old.

Next if you were "13" perhaps you cover slightly for you sister, but it is time she learns to be responsible

Alty · Sep 4, 2011, 04:07 PM

She's 20. If she doesn't want to live by daddy's rules, she should move out and make her own rules.

She shouldn't put you in a position to lie for her. You're both adults, not children. She needs to stop acting like a child.

cdad · Sep 5, 2011, 07:26 AM

I would also like to ad that if you keep covering for someone then you actually become part of the problem. Its called being an enabler. You don't want that. If your having to draw hard lines then its your sister that is at fault not you. Do not double the disrespect your dad would feel if both of you lie. Take the high road.

Jake2008 · Sep 6, 2011, 02:20 AM

You sound quite capable to me, of living on your own. Your sister chooses to stay and do what she does, and there isn't much you can do about that.

There comes a time when you realize that you are grown up enough to not accept disrespectful behaviour from anyone- family or not. There also comes a time when you stop bailing people out with covering for them, loaning them money, and letting them walk all over you- family or not.

You cannot change her, her lifestyle, her attitude, or the decisions she makes. If she chooses at age 20 to live in a house with a curfew like a teenager, then the consequences of that decision are hers and hers alone. It has nothing to do with you.

This is your life. At some point you will need to put your needs first, and get out in the world and make your own way. To remain in the line of fire between your sister and your father, is your choice.

I wouldn't be expecting either of them to change anytime soon.