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sweetpie88 · Aug 31, 2011, 10:31 AM

Me and this guy were dating but decided to be friends for now because we were going too fast in the beginning. It's hard for me because I have feelings for him but I'm trying. His friends, family, other people he knows already know about me. When we were texting he said his mom asked about me and his friend wants to add me on Facebook. He flirted with me and asked if I would cuddle with him and stuff because he wants that to happen on his birthday and wants it to be special.

But how do I know if he is really still interested in me? Even though we are friends how do I make him want me? :) I don't want to be pushy or anything.

Cat1864 · Aug 31, 2011, 12:15 PM

I think you need to sit down and talk with him. He is really the only person who can tell you if he is interested and he may be wondering the same thing about you.

Making someone who just wants to be your friend 'want you' leads to 'friends with benefits' arrangements. Is that what you really want? Wouldn't it be better to know where you stand with him and if there is chance to find a moderate pace that suits both of you or if you should let go and move on instead of keeping false hope alive?

sweetpie88 · Aug 31, 2011, 01:09 PM

I told him that I'm still interested in him and that I like him and he feels the same about me. He just wants to take his time to get to know me and I'm OK with that. Even though I agreed to be friends and still interested in him I thought maybe I should move on and delete him from my Facebook and his number on my phone and when I told him this he feel that I would throw away everything that we had and that he already put his trust in me. I guess I'm going to have to wait and see what happens. There is no way I want a friends with benefits relationship. I'm hoping we will go back to dating. I'm worried he is going to find someone else.

slapshot_oi · Aug 31, 2011, 01:41 PM

I wouldn't talk to him about it, it may annoy him or make him feel guilty. If he gave you the friends line, then he's not into you. He does, however, respect you, because option two would be to stop talking to you without reason.

Deleting him from Facebook and his number is a very good idea.

Cat1864 · Aug 31, 2011, 03:42 PM

How long were you dating before it was decided to take a step back and just be friends? How long have you tried being only friends?

I would agree with waiting and seeing what happens (as long as you are comfortable with it) except he seems to be wanting more than a casual friendship if he wants 'cuddling and stuff' to make his birthday 'special'. However, it doesn't sound like he wants a committed relationship. Do you want to 'cuddle and stuff' with someone you aren't involved romantically with?

Originally Posted by sweetpie88

that he already put his trust in me.

He may have put his trust in you, but do you have trust in him?

talaniman · Aug 31, 2011, 04:58 PM

Me and this guy were dating but decided to be friends for now because we were going too fast in the beginning... He flirted with me and asked if I would cuddle with him and stuff because he wants that to happen on his birthday and wants it to be special.

So he expects you to do special things in the name of just friendship. That's friends with benefits, so he is trying to get what he wants without title or commitment. Tell him NO!!

Matter of fact, if you are busy and unavailable, he may chase you, and rethink this, but regardless of what he does, don't chase him, or give into anything dumb for his special benefit, or waste too much time believing his "RAP"! Its lame, and puts you in a very bad position. Keep it friends, and have other friends besides him, his friends, and family. Less attention paid to him, then the more he will chase you. If not, then he wasn't serious in the first place.

Don't let fear of losing him lead you down a foolish path to keep his attention.

I wish · Sep 1, 2011, 01:33 PM

On one hand, you don't want to get caught up with waiting for something that may never happen. On the other hand, you don't want to give up prematurely and miss out on what could have been.

It's going to depend on how deeply you feel about him. There's always the risk of waiting for something that may never happen or the wait could have been well worth it.

I suggest that you put your foot down. He already knows how you feel about him so it's really about whether he will feel the same way about you. Behaving like his girlfriend without actually being his girlfriend results in a friends with benefits arrangement. If you want to be taken seriously, then steer clear of that type of arrangement.

If he just wants to be friends, then just be friends. When he's ready for a relationship, then be in a relationship. Don't allow yourself to be stuck in limbo.

sweetpie88 · Sep 1, 2011, 02:44 PM

@Cat1864- We have been dating for a month. At the beginning I have talked to him about us moving to fast and to take it slow but he couldn't help how he felt about and I couldn't how I felt about him. Just recently we decided to be friends. I have thought about what he said about doing things with him on his birthday and I have decided not to do it. I'll be a fool if I do it. I do not want a friends with benefits relationship. As for the trust, I am starting to trust him a little bit but it will take time.

Confused3909 · Sep 5, 2011, 11:00 AM

He is totally into you. It sounds like he is a Genuine Guy which is so hard to find in times like these. That is great that he wants to pace the realationship because sometimes we get infatuated with guys to fast and then they pull away because they don't know how to handle it. It gives you more time to realize if this is something that could work out in the long run, and more time to get to know each other. Slow pace isn't Bad, and that guy probably cares about you more than any other guy, telling you he wants to take things slow. Just always remember, Think FAST but speak SLOWLY, don't ever say something that you will bite your tongue about laterr.. Hope this Helps