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    Mievans's Avatar
    Mievans Posts: 15, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Aug 29, 2011, 08:49 PM
    Would you take a man back that left you for another woman while you were pregnant?
    My ex is begging me to get back with him, but he is the one who left me when I was 6 months pregnant with our son he denied the baby talked bad about me to the other woman.

    Ran off and moved in with her she harassed me on the job while I was pregnant told me she would beat my baby out of me. And threaten to fight me at my job she came up there on several occasions and harassed me.

    At the time I worked at walmart he claims he didn't tell her were I work but how did she no?


    And she was a hot mess welfare recipient with no job no car and section 8 housing with two kids that are not his, but he was over there with her and her two kids.

    He has two kids of his own by another woman before me and one on the way at the time which is now my 4 month old son.

    I found out were he was a week after he left and didn't come home and he was wanted by the police which she didn't no that either I had the police sent to her house and had him put in jail he gets out on Christmas.

    But it's like now he has been sending me letters every other day and trying to get me back and saying he sorry and he will change and this is not his first time cheating on me either.

    I've took him back before. I am currently with someone else but he wants to be a family and find a job and get his life together also he is a 3 time felon who is on and off PCP and doesn't have a job car or even clothes on his back

    When he gets out he will have absolutely nothing because the stuff he did have when we stayed together I burned all of it. So yeah he rights me every day claiming the girl meant nothing to him and he doesn't want to be with her.

    But me and the girl argued for a while on Facebook on the phone and more because she was telling me that is her man and that isn't his baby.

    Me and him been on and off for 6 years he was laid up with her for just one week but he use to date her years ago. Any way what should I do? P.S. This is my first child
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Aug 29, 2011, 08:57 PM
    Do you really have to ask?

    Let me put it in perspective;

    He has two kids of his own by another woman before me
    he was wanted by the police which she didn't no that either I had the police sent to her house and had him put in jail he gets out on Christmas.
    this is not his first time cheating on me either.
    he is a 3 time felon who is on and off PCP and doesn't have a job car or even clothes on his back
    He sounds like a catch. More like a catch and release though.

    Why are you even considering taking him back, for your child? Ya, let him watch daddy get arrested again, watch him take PCP, watch him leave whenever he has a new itch to scratch in his pants. You're both better off without a man like that in your life, and I use the term "man" loosely.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Aug 29, 2011, 09:13 PM
    Haven't you wasted enough time on this sperm donor? That's probably the only thing he ever did right. Now do right by your child and make him a happy home with a real man, why don't you?
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #4

    Aug 30, 2011, 08:56 AM
    He wants to come back because she doesn't bother with him while he is in prison and he knows that he can come running back to you when he has nowhere else to go. He will keep doing it as long as you are willing to take his crap. Make a good decision for yourself and your child, and stop keeping this bum around. He has nothing, what can he offer you in terms of support for your family. You want to work to support a third person? Please, PLEASE forget him and move on.
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #5

    Aug 30, 2011, 09:23 AM
    Eff him! Seriously, take care of you and your baby and forget him.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #6

    Aug 30, 2011, 10:51 AM
    I can't tell you to totally forget him because he is the father of your child. However, you do not have to be with him to have him support his child.

    Get a DNA test so there are no questions about who fathered the child.

    Then go through proper channels to get custody, child support and visitation worked out.

    You are currently involved with someone else so you aren't available any way to play his game. Encourage him to get his life in order for the good of his children, but do not take him back or give him any other help. He is at rock bottom let him figure out how to climb out of the hole he dug for himself.

    I will say if you are even slightly tempted to take him back, you may want to rethink your current relationship and how strong it is or how committed to it you are. It may be time to let all relationships go and build a strong one with yourself and your child.

    Take care of yourself and your child and good luck.
    Mievans's Avatar
    Mievans Posts: 15, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Sep 1, 2011, 06:54 PM
    Just wondering...
    Threads merged


    Just wondering if men that cheat on there girlfriends or wives do it because they just don't want to be with that person, or is really not into that person?

    And the woman he really wants to be with, will he not cheat on her because she is more of what he is seeking or is it once a cheater always a cheater.

    Because I wonder if guys just do it because the women they cheat with is what they really want.

    Or maybe she is doing something the other woman isn't, does any guys have any opinions on this subject or females that can relate?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Sep 1, 2011, 07:31 PM
    Cheaters will lie because they are selfish, needy, and don't appreciate what they have. Most times any excuse will do, and many blame their partner for their flaws. Actually, no matter who they are with, they would cheat if they had the chance because they need to to feel good about themselves. Just my opinion, but I doubt if it has anything to do with YOU personally, because its all about them and what they want.

    They are unhappy with themselves, and that's a flaw they seldom know how, or want to deal with. Can they change? Only if they want to, or HAVE to. They will LIE first. Any lie will do.
    Mievans's Avatar
    Mievans Posts: 15, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Sep 1, 2011, 08:37 PM
    Yeah, he has been writing me telling me he loves me, telling me he wants to be a family but before he went to jail he was missing in action, he was there at every doctors appointment rubbing my stomach feet making me food ironing my clothes and even polishing my toenails. When I had him sent to jail the girl was like, yeah it was other chicks calling this phone too why he has been locked up and she's like yeah I'm not the only one he cheated on you with so yeah, I'm like you no he walked off on a good woman and left her alone and pregnant you didn't even no he was wanted when he was at your house and he was a fugitive basically his name was in the Kansas city's most wanted paper posted up in every convenient store in the state of Missouri but you still decided that you wanted to try and pursue something with this man after finding out everything you found out and she has two small children and she didn't even no he was strung out on pcp but she still wanted to be with him after learning all this, I was hoping at the time he would change because we have a child on the way but then again he does have to other children that are being taken care of by there mother the girl also told me he said the baby isn't his. But now he's like I no he's mine and I don't want a dna test and I just want to be a family and blah blah blah!

    And also she has been sending him money why he has been locked up I haven't sent him a dime and he hasn't asked me either if he does the answer will be hell no he has already been locked up for 8months
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Sep 2, 2011, 09:51 AM
    Which is worse, lying and cheating, or believing a liar, and a cheat?

    Or should I ask which one gets hurt, the lying cheater, or the one that believes in them? Don't let the lying cheater hurt you any more, so don't believe him ever again.

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