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RRR.love · Aug 28, 2011, 02:49 PM

I'm engaged to my fiancé for 2 years plus. We have been together for 4years. Recently I fall in love with a man in my work place. Just I'm getting married in 3 months time. The relationship between me and my fiancé, is not the same anymore.

I get turn off with him and we are cold to each other. Should I just leave my fiancé and go to the other guy? Or should I leave the other guy and stick to my fiancé?

Honestly I'm not happy or excited to marry my fiancé? But at the same time if I were to leave him, I will feel that it will be a waste and I'm going to miss him and all the memories that we has. I'm a confuse person now I need help.

Cat1864 · Aug 28, 2011, 03:45 PM

There is another option, but I don't think you are going to like it.

This option has you leaving both of them alone and discovering yourself and what you truly want in life.

You sound like you aren't comfortable with your fiancée and like you have both become different people. If your feelings for him have changed, let him go. Do not marry him simply because you made a promise. The problems before marriage will only get worse afterward.

Do not leave one man for another one. It will not solve your problems. When you get out of a relationship, you should give yourself time to heal and let of the past before becoming involved with a new man.

Take time to think about what you really want for yourself and in a relationship.

talaniman · Aug 28, 2011, 04:34 PM

I think you handle your business with your fiancé FIRST. You do that by telling him you don't want to get married, and then its very important for you to NOT jump from one guy to another without a healing in between.

You are asking for trouble, going from an almost married situation, to something with a co worker.

If you think your are miserable now, not loving your fiancé, just wait until your work life is as miserable, confusing, and complicated as your home life.

I very strongly advise you to learn to have fun as a single person, and don't make any rash decisions about life, and love that you may regret for a long time.

vanheart · Aug 28, 2011, 04:41 PM

I agree.

Don't mess with people's hearts. What you are doing isn't right. Disastrous and unfair. Mostly for you.

Be honest with yourself. Doesn't sound like you are ready for anything serious.

You need to address this now.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 28, 2011, 04:45 PM

Break the engagement with your fiancé and leave the co-worker alone as well.
Spend some time alone. Try to figure out why you were attracted to another man to begin with. You said you both are cold to each other, maybe you both no longer want to marry each other
Leave them both alone.

vanheart · Aug 28, 2011, 08:58 PM

Look at it this way:

No fiancé should want a future bride that cheats & doesn't want him. Is his stupid or in the dark?
No co-worker should want a girl that's about to be married. That's disgraceful. Good luck to your job.

No guy should want a girl that is doing what you are doing.

What do you have 3 months left? Better tell everyone.

Then get therapy.