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New Member
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Aug 24, 2011, 03:52 PM
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Everything was fine and then out of no where she wants space.
Ok so I've known my current girlfriend since last August, but we didn't hook up until April of this year. I wasn't really attracted to her when we first started working together. As time went on and we worked together I actually starting noticing her. We hooked up and then just kept hooking up and then she was getting upset because I wasn't making her my girlfriend yet. About 3.5 months in I asked her to be my girlfriend after an actual date night. Well she then started saying that very day that she loved me. Well we got closer and closer and started spending more time together. She wanted to spend just about any free time she could with me. She would get mad at me if she felt as if she wasn't the main priority in my life and also spoke of having an assurance of her desire to marry me.
I felt like the relationship was fine except for the fact that we would argue over things because she didn't want me hanging out with my friends because she said that I could go to a bar and she couldn't and that she didn't want my friends taking me to a strip club or hanging out with other girls. But when she would hang out with her best friend they would somehow be hanging out with guys.
I started to become rather upset because I felt as if she was telling me that she didn't want me hanging out with friends because of girls but that she could do whatever she wanted. Well fast forward here. Everything within the last 2 weeks seemed to be going very well and I was actually falling in love with this girl more and more everyday. Then the other night she was hanging out with her best friend and then was hardly talking to me then she called and said she would call before she went to bed. She didn't end up calling so I went to work the next morning and noticed she hadn't called or text. I knew she had hair school from 9 am to 430 and then work from 6 to 9. So I decided to wait till around ten to call her.
We got into a small argument because we hadn't talked all day but she was over at her best friends house(BTW her friend is a girl) but hadn't tried to call me or see me. Well I said that she should come get her stuff and she started crying. She came over and we talked and we made up but then she kept crying and saying that the reason she hadn't called me was because she was second guessing everything in her life. She hugged me as if it were the end of the world and cried so hard and said that she didn't want to hurt me and that she loved me so much but that she wanted some space because she was unsure of anything. But then said she call me when she got home.
She called me when she got home and continued to say she loved me but that she really wanted some space to figure things out. Then she talked to me today and said the same thing.
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Entomology Expert
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Aug 24, 2011, 06:11 PM
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I am only taking a guess here and this is not definite but I have seen this happen... It sounds like she might have met someone and is confused now. It sounds like she still cares about you but also has conflicting feelings for someone else.
Like I said, I could be wrong but I've seen it a few times.
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New Member
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Aug 24, 2011, 06:13 PM
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Sorry Pal but your girl friend has some really deep seated emotional issues. Sounds like she may have some bi-polar issues as well as being completely co-dependant. Throw in some " Border line personality disorder " for dessert.
Any time a woman, or man for that matter wants " Space " it means that they are questioning the relationship and probably have been talking to another potential love interest hence her needing to figure things out.
I have much experience with this and though you don't give your ages, I can still tell you that the younger she is, the worse it will be for you. I am thinking low '20's.
Your relationship is coming to an end but there are things you can do. Remember this.. if she was in total love with you she wouldn't need space or time to figure things out. Love makes people jump in head first and deal with the consequences. She is needy by what you have said and once you give her every thing, she will need more and un fortunately you won't be able to help her with what she needs so she will go for some one else for what ever reason she comes up with.
You're going to bang your head against the wall because these people are usually charming and beautiful and they can make you feel so good.
You are getting the push-pull. She's testing you and honestly you won't pass no matter what you do.
You are going to get calls in the middle of the night, pleas from her to proclaim your love for her but in the end, you'll cry and be alone and she will get cold as ice as to your feelings.
Do this.. if she doesn't call you just ONE time. Don't, no matter what, call her or text her. If she calls you after some time, ignore the call. Make her physically come to you and be indifferent as to your reason why you didn't answer her. Tell her you were giving her space. Don't make any plans with her and if she asks you to commit to a meeting, sex or any of your time, don't do it. ( she will stand you up )
Make her work for you again, keep her at arms length and tell her you have friends with one of your GUY friends. Tell her that space might be what you need too but what ever you do, make her think you are spending time with a friend when she can't account for your time.
Your in for some serious heartbreaking emotions. It will be tough. Stick to your guns. Seriously.. in reality, you need to write this off and move on... RUN! Trust me, you will thank me later.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Aug 24, 2011, 06:32 PM
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 Originally Posted by Huggermuggers
Sorry Pal but your girl friend has some really deep seated emotional issues. Sounds like she may have some bi-polar issues as well as being completely co-dependant. Throw in some " Border line personality disorder " for dessert.
Are you qualified to diagnose so broadly based on such a small amount of information about someone and without ever meeting that person?
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New Member
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Aug 24, 2011, 07:28 PM
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Sorry if I offended any one.
Let me clarify...
2nd sentence, first 2 words are " Sounds like..." . I based my response on that assumption.
If you still have a desire to question credentials, please shoot me an e-mail.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Aug 24, 2011, 07:34 PM
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 Originally Posted by Huggermuggers
Sorry if I offended any one.
Let me clarify....
2nd sentence, first 2 words are " Sounds like..." . I based my response on that assumption.
If you still have a desire to question credentials, please shoot me an e-mail.
You didn't offend me, but that's a pretty serious diagnosis of someone you've never met. I checked your profile; there are no credentials listed. You must be a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist?
Site rules are that we don't take discussion from a thread into PMs or e-mail.
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New Member
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Aug 25, 2011, 08:32 AM
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Wow huggermuggers its crazy how accurate you are with this information. Just yesterday she told me she was going to come see me at work before I got off. I waited and right after I got off she sent me a text saying she wasn't going to be able to see me. Another thing is that she told me to call her later on or she would call me and she never did. Before we got off the phone she said she was going to be hanging out with her dad but out of nowhere I get a Facebook message from her exboyfriends girlfriend saying that he just broke up with her and that he was hanging out with my girlfriend. Lol kind of comedic really. I became a little angry but it was kind of a relief because I always felt like she was smothering me and had kind of thought of breaking up with her but I always found a reason to stay with her. I didn't want to hurt her because I cared for her. Well anyway it was more of a relief to find that out because I actually knew what was going on now. I was a little drunk and tried to call her lol. Bad idea. She of course didn't answer but this morning I got texts from her saying that now she wanted a break because I called her so much last night. I kind of wanted to dump her. Childish I know. Well so she calls me and then I asked her if she could tell me what she did last night and she said she went out to eat with her friend heather and then the mall and then she went to bed. I asked her if she was leaving anything out and she said no see you don't trust me. I then told her the news I had found out and she asked me how I found out. She then told me that yes she did hangout with him. I now know that I need to leave her behind. Ive questioned myself too many times since I've been with her. It just sucks because I have fallen for her over the course of the relationship. What is a good way to forget about her and move on very fast? And yes she is 19 and I am 23
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Expert
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Aug 27, 2011, 02:23 PM
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Go back to what you did for fun before you met her, and have no more contact with her whatsoever.
I don't believe in games so when they ask for space, I just disappear, and go back to doing my own thing.
Saves on the drama, games, and wasted time being confused by silly words, and actions. Oh, and there is no such thing as getting over some one quickly, but No Contact is the most quick way to move on.
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