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krystalini · Aug 23, 2011, 08:47 PM

So I was with this guy for 3 years, best friends for a year, before we dated. Well we ended up parting ways, but still being friends. Then I meet this other guy, and fell in love with him, but later on me, and my ex started hanging out a lot more, and talking we realized we were still in love. We both grew up, realized where we went wrong. I told both the guys my situation, and they both told me to take my time, and choose who I want to be with. But I don't know. I love them both so so much, and there both amazing guys. I don't want to hurt them any more. Please help me figure out how to make a choice.

Edited/T

I wish · Aug 23, 2011, 10:22 PM

Distance yourself from both guys for a bit so that you can reflect more clearly without the influence of the other person.

Figure out what exactly you want. Do you want a long term relationship? Once you learn more about yourself and figure out what exactly you want, then you will have a clearer idea of who you want to be with.

adam_89 · Aug 24, 2011, 04:36 AM

Originally Posted by I wish

Distance yourself from both guys for a bit so that you can reflect more clearly without the influence of the other person.

Figure out what exactly you want. Do you want a long term relationship? Once you learn more about yourself and figure out what exactly you want, then you will have a clearer idea of who you want to be with.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

Cat1864 · Aug 24, 2011, 07:45 AM

The only thing I can add is to say that if you are having problems choosing between two people, perhaps you should let both of them go and move on. Someday after you have healed, you can find someone who has the best qualities of both men who you can love as much as you do both of them combined.

Choosing one of these men could leave you wondering about the other one. Also choosing one means giving up the other because it is unfair to either the one you chose and the one you didn't to try to hold on to both as friends.

If you chose, be ready for insecurity about the other one still being in your life and possible accusations of being sorry you didn't choose him. You will need to make sure that you both understand the past is the past and bringing it up in disagreements is not fair to either of you.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

talaniman · Aug 25, 2011, 03:35 PM

You chose neither. You date who you want, but commit to now one. While its no shame, to love many at once, the important thing is who you commit to. When you commit, then you better be sure, and that may take a bit more dating and having fun, before you decide.

What kind of love are you talking about? Sex/Lust, having clean adult fun? Old feelings vs new? How old are you. Just want an idea of how much you have grown up.

When you are unsure, you date casually, no strings attached, until YOU have made YOUR choice. Don't worry about hurting them, its your own heart you have to protect. Otherwise the first sign of trouble you will wish you made a different choice, and by then, its to late.

Talaniman Rule - When you don't know who you love, love YOURSELF.