Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    copper44's Avatar
    copper44 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 23, 2011, 07:55 PM
    How to handle this break up situation
    My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. After the initial cooling off phase of about 2 weeks, he contacted me. The reason for the breakup is that he will be moving in a couple weeks to a city 9 hours away, and with both our busy schedules, and our lack of money, as I am in school, and he won't be making much it will be hard for us to see each other, not to mention its different countries. He will be home for the summer but that is it.

    We have been long distance aside from summers for four years however it was only an hour away so we would see each other every couple weekends. I am in school and he is going there to pursue a professional hockey career in the AHL.

    Once he contacted me after the cooling off period, he explained that he wanted to still see me if I wanted to before he left, as he won't see me for a year and will miss me a lot. We have hung out twice since then, and it has been good, but a little strange as he still acts like we are together always hugging me, and staring at me etc.

    I don't know what the best thing to do is, I love spending time with him but the other part of me is cautious because I know once he leaves there is a good chance we will fall out of contact eventually. (happened once before for 6 months, but got back together when he got home)

    If anyone has any insight or advice on what I should do I would really appreciate it!

    Also, he has said things pertaining to the future, such as saying he has a feeling he will see me before he gets home , insinuating I will make a visit down. And saying he will want to see me when he does get home etc. Maybe a guys perspective on this would be of more help
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Aug 23, 2011, 10:25 PM
    Let this go,he wants his cake and eat it.
    Being at someone's beck and call is not dignified.
    No contact,heal and move on.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Aug 24, 2011, 09:16 AM
    You seem to have a good handle on the situation, and I think he wants to keep the door open between you just in case an opportunity presents itself later. That's pretty understandable since you both would still be together if not for the coming move, right?

    Hey this will be over soon, so take it as a long good bye, before getting on with your own plans. After he leaves, make it a clean break for a while, and be busy with your own life, and too busy for regular contact and sweet talk.

    We never know what the future holds, but we do have to take care of TODAY, before we can deal with TOMORROW. For today, you start making adjustments to thrive, and survive, without him.

    And you do have a great plan to help that happen. Good Luck.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Aug 24, 2011, 10:35 AM
    Why would you want to stay as the going back home booty call? If he is leaving and wants to break up because he wants freedom to do whatever he wants without his concience eating at him while you are waiting for him to return, then tell him to be off and start looking for someone who at least is going to make the effort of being with you. Yes, a long distance relationship (LDR) is hard, especially if it is sooo far away, but if he is not even willing or is tired of trying then why should you wait for someone like that? Cut conversation with him now so that he knows that you won't be a pushover. From a guy's point of view, if you keep waiting it would be ideal to be able to do whatever I want to and then b with yo9u for a little bit when I go back home for a few weeks, and then leave you again. Don't become his toy and be done with him.

    Good Luck,
    Javi
    copper44's Avatar
    copper44 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Aug 24, 2011, 10:44 AM
    Javi,

    I understand what you're saying and agree, however what is going on now is not a booty call as we do not get physical more just hang out get ice cream things like that. And yes he will be away doing whatever but at the same time I will also be at university doing the same thing, not sitting around pining, so it is more equal than you've made it out to be I feel
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Aug 24, 2011, 08:20 PM
    Doesn't sound like you guys got off on the right foot.

    You actually have played this already. Waiting around for his next 6 moth visit. Screw that.

    Long distance is hard. Whatever age.

    I don't recommend it.

    Fun, when you are together, but if you are expecting a future, then no. Fling after fling after fling, then zip.

    Hes doing his thing. Hoping that you are going to stick around when he comes back to town.

    Don't be that girl that bugs a guy. He wants to be free.

    So you be free too. Take his lead.






Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

On a break with girlfriend; Need some advice on how to handle a weird situation [ 15 Answers ]

Hello all, this is my first question and Google led me to this site. My ex ish (I don't know what I call her) and I dated for 6 months. She is 23 and I am 21. She has 2 kids (3 and 5) & lives on her own. We both love each other I don't drive and she drives. We work together in the same...

How to handle the situation [ 3 Answers ]

So a husband takes out a loan without his wife knowing. $9000. Gives it to his mother. Wife finds out. MIL works at the bank, has a history of looking at their account. Has transferred money out of their account to help other family members. Wife decides she has had enough. Wife wants to leave her...

How would you handle this situation? [ 6 Answers ]

How would you react if your girlfriend/boyfriend woke you up at 6 in the morning practically in tears asking you to take them to the Emergency Room because they woke up from an hour sleep with a pounding heart? Keep in mind your GF/BF has been complaining lately of chest pain, back and leg pain....

How To Handle This Situation [ 11 Answers ]

So check it out. I've known this girl now for about 10 years and we've always had a thing for each other.. . we went out in grammar school for about a year.. . she was pretty much my first puppy love. We kind of broke it off after grammar school because we were going to attend different schools. ...

How to handle the situation [ 1 Answers ]

I Am Struggling With A Relationship Of 4 1/2 Years That Has Gone Bad. When I First Met Him I Didn't Like Him That Much Because I Had Just Gotten Out Of A Realationship And Was Not Ready. Well Eventually He Grew On Me And We Moved In Together. In The Beginning I Admit I Was A Little SKEPTICAL And...


View more questions Search