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samarky · Aug 16, 2011, 10:10 PM

My mom and dad that raised me left Arizona when I was 3 months old. Was told when I was about 15 or 16 that someone else was on my birth certificate as my father. Was told that no one really knew which man was my father. Recently my dad that raised me agreed to allow me to do a DNA test and turned out he is not my father, so that leaves the man listed on my birth certificate as my biological father. The only information I have is that his name is Maurice Edward Walker. Born in Texas. He was 25 when I was born so that puts him at either 78 or 79 years old. He was living in Yuma, Arizona when I was born and him and my mom were together. It says he was a truck driver for a dairy company when I was born. I have no idea where he is now. I have a vague memory of being with my grandmother(my mom's mother) one summer and meeting a man and my grandmother telling me that it was our little secret and I was not to tell anyone that I had met him. I was probably around 4-7 years old at the time. Is there anyone out there that can help me find him? Thank you in advance.

samarky · Aug 16, 2011, 10:15 PM

Forgot to add that the dad that raised me and agreed to the DNA test does NOT want to know the results and I am either going to tell him that I never had the test ran, or tell him that he is my father because he is 77 and not doing well physically. I would not want to devastate him like that, so I cannot ask him any questions to help me in my search.

Synnen · Aug 17, 2011, 05:24 AM

You do realize that you may well devastate the man you are looking for as well, right?

He is probably married, with children and grandchildren---and you may destroy THEIR relationships because you have this need to know for no other reason than curiosity.

If you MUST find this man, hire a licensed private investigator. There is really no other way for you to search, because it is doubtful he is on reunion websites waiting for you.

samarky · Aug 17, 2011, 06:23 AM

Excuse me?! No other reason than curiosity? Where in my post did I say I wanted to find him out of curiosity? How about to know about my gene history? Medical history? Somewhere I have another family. What if he had the hope that someday I would find him? If he does not want to meet me or have anything to do with me then he can say so upon first contact. My own three children would like to know their history and genealogy.

Synnen · Aug 17, 2011, 07:34 AM

Please be aware that AMHD is NOT a reunion website. We offer you advice based on our experience with the topic, and let you know answers that you didn't even think to ask yet---like "how will this affect the person I am searching for?"

If that "other family" doesn't know of your existence, you may break up a marriage, or cause acute anxiety to another elderly man (and possibly his WIFE!)---but you're not willing to risk your own father for the information? If he is listed as the father on your birth certificate, you may also be disrupting lines of inheritance and cause resentment with any other siblings you might have.

This is not just YOUR information you're looking for. This is someone else's LIFE. And most reunions end badly, contrary to Lifetime shows.

If you believe he is searching for you as well, then register on reunion websites such as adoption.com, adoption.org and ISRR.

Your ONLY other options are to hire an LPI or to do an extensive internet search.

Or you can ask family members you know for more information.

While I believe adoptees have a right to their medical information, it does not sound like you were actually adopted, so the normal routes for getting that information with the least amount of disruption to the biological parents are just not open to you.

I work with all sides of the adoption triad on a regular basis, and I have to say that you have the typical idea that the adoptee is the one with the "most important" needs, followed by the adoptive parents' needs---with almost NO concern about the needs of the biological family.

Please be aware that you have more information than most people, and conducting a search through an LPI will probably be successful.

PS--if you do not have a pressing medical need--like a bone marrow or kidney transplant--then you are mainly looking for curiosity. You can have genetic testing done to determine whether you have a genetic pre-disposition toward most diseases. You are not looking solely for medical information--you are also looking because you are curious about this "other family" that you might have.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 17, 2011, 08:54 AM

There are a few issues, you know that you have no right to inherit anything from the man who thinks he is your father. He never adopted you, and he is not the father on the birth certificate. So if outlives your mom, and he has the house, money in the bank and more, you don't get a penny unless there is a will leaving it to you

And surely he knew when they had to use your birth certificate that he was not listed as the father. Put in school, drivers licence and more.